...we’ve been interacting very routinely and straight forwardly over the last few months
- we seem to have corrected the insinuations that tended to be going on I’n side conversations as typified by her comments in an email to other family members last year implying that I was often disorganised… That may or may not be true, but I think we need to be showing each other more mutual respect than that. I said so, and the point was acknowledged.
- I’m helping organise her second wedding, this time not to me…
- we’re on the same page about collaborating in supporting our daughters.
I think we’re doing fine on both mutual respect and teamwork.
It’s taken 15 years, and hopefully it will continue to be even better, but it’s good enough to call done. 3 years ago
(and not the first progress, there has been a ggod trend over the last 3 years)...
But tonight was nice, because I called by to pick up a present she wanted me to take to my Dad’s birthday party, and we had a good yarn about good things that are happening now, and then her fiancée arrived back (who i get on really well with) and we had an enjoyable chat about the meeting he’d been to for the evening.
The challenge now is to solve the 15-year frostiness of her mother, who did at least speak to me when we bumped into each other in town a couple of years ago, but that’s hardly normality and the family still routinely holds events that are either with me or her there but never both…
I don’t suppose that will be true at the ex’s wedding I’m invited to in June, so we’ll see what happens – I assume her mother’s going!!
Must think what else I could do to try & break that particular sheet of ice. :-) 3 years ago
How I did it: I needed to have a good relationship with my ex-husband because we have a son together. I didn't want my son worrying about taking sides once we split. It was hard in the beginning, but acting civil and polite finally gave way to being friendly and helpful to each other. My current husband and my ex get along well and have a mutual respect. Funny as it sounds, I have a good relationship with my current husband's ex-wife, too. Working through the anger and discomfort enables you to look back at the past with fondness. I had to alter my expectations and realize that my ex would never change. Once I accepted things as they were, I could relax and let our routines fall into place. Read how I did it… 4 years ago