be satisfied with my life

I write a lot. I enjoy cartoons on WB39 Saturdays. I sing to myself. My family helps me as I help them. I attend the local library regularly. I love my family. I walk miles every week. I love being clean. Classic Checkers is one of the many sources I have that come in handy when time to cope. I believe in God. Love is being born ready for anything. Faith is for the considerate. Everybody is different. I have my hobbies of collecting movies and music albums. The three things I believe people can’t do without is shelter, food, and clothing.

I’m having a good period in my life, talking about satisfaction, because I choose to continue studying chemistry for two more years and, I realized that I love the subject and what I do. I can’t say the same things in my scout life. After becaming a scout chief I understood that I’m the only one in my scout group who has different values and believings, different from the others. This make me frustrated and I ask to myself if its’not unuseful to continue.

Well, what can I say – I am. But don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I don’t still have things I want to change in my life! (I mean, take a look at all my other goals…) But I’ve realised how fantastic life really is, and I’m greatful of everything I have.

I have never really been satisfied w/ the way my life goes… I am constantly feeling torn & depressed or just very tense. When I think something will go alright it goes wrong. My depression doesn’t help much. My mom recently told me that she doesn’t think that I am staisfied w/ everything that she does for me. I am just not over all happy w/ being myself. And I just need good friends to help me out. The ones I thought were my best friends since 5th grade stopped talking to me after our graduation year this year. which makes me feel like shit again. Because it has happen to me once before in 9th grade w/ another friend. I wish to curl up and wake up a month or more later at times. Sry for the rabbling bullshit.

...I noticed that I’m more calm this year than the paseed one. I’m facing some probems, like difficulties at school or the few time I have to relax, but I keep going on with my life without complainig every day. I think it’s a positive signal…

that will probably easy to do when reaching the other aims ;)

I have all the things a boy can desire or imagine, I have a family that helps me, allows me to study and takes care about me. I have a girlfriend who loves me as no one can do and who is gentle and kind with me… to conclude, I have everything a person needs to be happy and satisfied about life, but I don’t feel very happy… maybe I desire a different life but I’m not so brave to obtain it. Maybe I’m afraid to face the risks…