get tested

Going tomorow… i have actually have a symptom of one of the std’s, so now i know i deffinetly have one, but i need the medicine. I haven’t been sexualyl active in a year but it still sucks. I wish I got tested earlier. I had an anxiety attack at work. This really. Makes me hate myself. I can’t believe myself last summer. Why was I so careless. And so stupid. It just sucks because I am so different now, I haven’t been active for over a year but its still in me. This disease. And it just makes me so angry seeing the person I got it from still going around doing what he did to me. I don’t like it. I don’t like me. I just. I wish I had someone to talk to.

I’m scared to death and I can guarantee right when I walk into the clinic tomorow i’m going to cry my eyes out. I’m so scared.

it’s just necessary.
and i think i will be relieved.

This is my third time to get an HIV test. I did mine last at a public health clinic and I did the Rapid Test, and it’s negative. I just did it recently (04/18/08) and it’s also for free. It’s a relief to get a negative result and definitely worth doing. This test actually was an eye-opener for me. I know that I’m always safe but it doesn’t hurt to be a little bit more careful.

I’m not a coward,
I’ve just never been tested
I’d like to think that if I was
I would pass

Whether or not i actually believe i might have something, it is intimidating to even think about going to get tested. ignorance is bliss, but conscience is a bitch.

But, it would definately be a good thing to do. I wouldn’t want to pass anything along to someone I love.

but incredibly important.

Results today = Wooo Hoo.

Very worth doing

I am clean. Just like I thought.

I was under the false impression for a long time that my standard ob/gyn visits included an HIV test. Now I find out that I don’t really know.

I’m 99.9% sure that I’m fine, but I would like to know for sure.