surprise myself

I can’t remember the last time I managed to surprise myself.I think this will be an excellent way of growing as an individual and developing my self-confidence.I will give this an honest try.

This sounds like a great thing to do!!!

1.- Madrid trip-presentation

2.- Finging job _.

So totally done and dealt with! To write it up would take a year, that is how much I have surprised myself constantly since listing this goal. Shan’t stop either!

I’ve checked this one as “done,” but I’m going to continue making entries in it, whenever it happens. It’s not one of those solidly “one time” accomplishments. Quite frankly, I thought it was impossible, until Thursday. I was having a rather… intense conversation with my current boyfriend out at our local country club. Despite all of my reassurances, my boyfriend still gets a bit concerned about my ex and the relationship I have with him. I believe it’s possible to have a healthy, purely platonic relationship with those you’ve previously dated. The particular ex of mine in question, however, is very persistent, and very open about the fact that he still has feelings for me. The feelings are in NO WAY reciprocated, but he’s attempted to make a move on me on several occasssions. Such advances were always rejected on my part, and I always told my current boyfriend when they occured, but it makes him nervous all the same.

Well, one of my current boyfriend’s good friends caught wind of the fact that my ex had been making advances on me, and, not knowing exactly how I reacted and also unaware that my current boyfriend knew exactly what had been happening, he attempted to convince my boyfriend that I was a faithless slut. My boyfriend knows me well enough to seriously doubt the validity of such a claim, but, as we were having our conversation, my boyfriend did ask me, for about the…. seven millionth time, “Are you sure you’re not going to leave me for your ex?” Instead of answering him, I looked down at my hand, and gave him a little grin, before I started walking towards the golf course. I slipped off the ring that I haven’t taken off since my ex-boyfriend gave it to me almost two years ago. I opened my palm, glanced at the $300 dollar diamond, measured its weight in the center of my hand… Then I turned around to look at my bewildered boyfriend, who was following me, eyeing me like I was insane. With a perfectly self assured smile, I said, “Let’s see just how good of an arm I have… shall we?” With that, I threw the damn thing as far as I could onto the golf course, where I believe it got snagged in the branches of some tree. Without a second glance, without bothering to look back, I walked over to my boyfriend, and hugged him fiercly.

I never would have imagined I would EVER throw that ring away. When it finally sunk in that I had purposefully cast it into relative oblivion, I was absolutely stunned…. and more excited with my own actions that I had been in a very long time. I’ve never experienced anything more liberating than freeing myself of that relic of the past. After all, what’s the point of holding on to something that means nothing? It’s just a piece of metal, a hunk of rock. It is utterly insignificant in comparison to what I have now. I truly surprised myself, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

I’m a risk taker, plain and simple. Granted, I haven’t always been this way. I used to painfully shy; I was terrified to step even an inch out of my comfort zone. I can’t quite pinpoint how or when, but somehow, all that changed. These days, I’m a much different person. I’m no longer the wallflower; my days of hanging behind my friends and staring longingly—hopelessly—at certain guys are over. I’m currently dating someone with which I am VERY happy, but if I weren’t, I would be the girl that eyes a man from the dark corner of a club…. I would be the girl who orders said man a shot of tequila with lime, and has it delivered along with her phone number and a mildly suggestive wink. I’ve realized that nothing can be gained without putting oneself at risk. But, at the same time… I haven’t really shocked myself in a hell of a long time. I want to completely surprise myself, do something so unlikely and atypical that I’m shocked((and pleased)) beyond belief. It’s time to step outside my expanded comfort zone yet again… and watch how much I grow as a result.

My life has become about maintaining the status quo and getting through the day, not living FOR the day. I want to push myself to live passionately.

I want to surprise myself. I want to think “wow, did I just do/say/think that?” more often. To do that I need to be more forgiving towards myself when I make mistakes.

I done that a many times, but i didn’t realized that aim doing that.

And I can’t focus on 43 goals right now, so I am parking this.