Only speak positive words about others.

The effort might kill me. But I will try!

This is a tough one. I find myself getting angry and not handling it well. I want to be like my Grandma, she’s the best. I’ve never heard her say a mean word about anyone, even when I know she is mad at them. It’s how you express yourself, not just the act of expressing yourself that makes better relationships.

So this is a little off topic, but I am starting to realize the impact of my emotions on other people. If I want them to be happy and cheerful and have fun with them I need to try to be that way too. This kind of goes with only speak positive words about others, because then I’m just being positive all around and won’t be unhappy enough to say unhappy or mean things.

I want to only speak positive words about others

Well lately I’ve been getting mad at other people for thinking they are mad at me and for being not very loving. So I brought it up with them and it turns out they just have a very different outlook on things. People communicate in so many ways. It is hard to understand what they mean by how they act or why they are acting the way they do. I’m glad I spoke up.

Giving talks and job interviews means being on my best behavior, both in terms of being diplomatic with negative opinions and being effusive when praise is deserved. I’m SO glad I was already working on this.

btw, I LOVE these examples of how to be diplomatic from the best academic job search guide ever written :

You mean: “Almost everyone in Prof. V’s group quit in disgust last year.”
You say: “I know that there are some students who had problems with Prof. V, but I don’t know all the details.”

You mean: “Prof. W is racist and sexist.”
You say: “Some people feel that Prof. W is most comfortable with white men.”

You mean: “People expect Prof. X to be denied tenure in a few years.”
You say: “I’d be concerned about working with Prof. X, because he doesn’t have tenure, and it’s always something of a craps shoot at Drofnats University.”

You mean: “Prof. Y appropriated one of his student’s thesis work for his start-up.”
You say: “Prof. Y has a start-up, and there’s been some concern about the independence of it and his research group.”

You mean: “I can’t think of anything good to say about Prof. Z, and none of the charges have been proven.”
You say: “I really don’t know much about Prof. Z; I’m sorry.”

I envisioned doing this goal differently, but right now, I think I’ll just mark this done. This will be an ongoing thing and if I feel inclined to write more here, I’ll just add more entries later.

in my professional life. I have ongoing frustrations with one colleague who doesn’t play well with others, but I really want to stop bitching about it. A year or two ago, I made a clean break with complaining about another colleague, and we get along amazingly well now. I’d like to do the same here, but it’s going to be much more challenging considering that he had me literally yelling curses at my email at work just a couple days ago!

I think that all I can take from this goal is to never gossip about others. As this isn’t really something that I do anyway, there’s no need to include it in my list.

God has been greatly working in this area with me and I have been tested in this many times. Though I’m not a person that cares to gossip, this can be a very subtle thing a person does without realizing it.

When we speak ill of others, it’s almost like a poison that creates such a toxicity in our bodies, minds, and souls. Now, I’m not going to say that we are all to be living in some fantasy land, as we do need to address life’s challenges, which includes people who challenge us.

Am I the expert on this? Well, not at all. Just relaying some of the things I’ve observed and experienced. As I readjusted my foci and energies towards blessing those who curse me, or are perceived (by me) as difficult (challenging) to work with, a strength has been building.

God has been fortifying that side of me, making me tougher, more resilient. Praise be to God. There is still much work to be done, but it’s really cool to see in a little over a month’s timeframe that as I set my focus on Jesus, that He IS turning the tide of the battle.

There is a greater calmness that prevails over my household, a greater peace and thankfulness. Is it easy to speak positive words about others? Why is it easy to speak positive words about others?

God is my provider, and that includes equipping me with the ability to make right choices in how I choose to respond to people.