why do i do this? 14 months ago
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i’m not talking games of artistic merit like deus ex or botanicula. i’m talking about ways to trash time, zone out. i want to replace this with, perhaps, watching anime or democracy now or some such, or maybe playing go online. 14 months ago
Its been a couple weeks since I have played games. I’m debating the idea of letting myself play games one day per week, as a sort of rest day and reward for doing all the other stuff I want to/need to get done. It is a slippery slope. I don’t want to gradually get obsessed with games again and slowly start playing more and more until that is what I spend most of my time doing. 17 months ago
I haven’t played any games since… Saturday I believe. So four or five days. This isn’t completely unheard of for me, but I doubt that I’ve gone much longer than one week not touching a video game at all. Hasn’t been too tough. I’ve been busy with a lot of other things. I don’t want to waste my life leveling up some virtual character anymore. I want to level up myself… But the thing is that it takes a lot of time to achieve real world goals as opposed to constantly achieving and being rewarded in video games.
I saw an ad on a 12 pack on Mountain Dew advertising “6 games of double XP” for Halo 4. I felt a slight temptation to get the game after that, but really if there is no progression in games, no leveling up, getting to the next level, increasing your skills etc. I get bored easily. That is the part that I get addicted to. And it is so silly really, because I’m tricking myself into thinking that I’m progressing when I’m really not. It’s not that different from hitting 1 + 1 and pressing enter over an over again on a calculator; something I used to do a lot in elementary school out of curiosity to see how high I could get the number to go, and boredom. Anymore, I can pay money to get fancy pictures to look at while I watch the numbers go up… 17 months ago
I’ve been a huge video game player ever since I first played Super Mario Bros on the NES when I was 4 years old. When I was in elementary school and middle school, although I was not a loner my Super Nintendo was my best friend and I played it any chance I got. I felt instantly more comfortable around and amicable towards people who had an interest in video games. That was my main criteria for friendship with people. In high school, I played Playstation, PS2, GameCube, Xbox; everything. Every game that came out I heard about, and every game that was supposed to be good I played. I didn’t play high school sports. I was on the wrestling team one year, but quit the following year since there were too many good games coming out that year. I needed the time to waste on them. I wasn’t in the band. I had friends, and a girlfriend, but all too often I blew them and everything else off, school work included to play video games by myself.
Fast forward 8 years after graduating high school. I still play a ridiculous amount of video games. I see them as an escape and a way for me to delay dealing with my problems. Certain games are very engrossing and its easy to not think about anything else while playing them. I can honestly say that they have consumed my life, and are one of the two major things holding me back from accomplishing anything in my life. So it is time for me to stop playing all together. I plan on selling a lot of games if I can.
Why do I want to stop? I want to have a social life again. I don’t want to be afraid of people anymore. I want to spend time, and get obsessed over the things that I can accomplish that have real meaning in this world, and things that can actually help people. I want to have a girlfriend. I want to figure out who I am and realize whatever potential I have instead of running and hiding constantly. I don’t want video games to be my crutch any more. I want to learn about the world; the REAL world. I don’t want to feel like a child anymore. If I need something to spend my time on when I’m feeling off, I want it to be something that has real value when those hours start to add up.
I have never tried to quit playing video games before. I've had times where I didn't play for a few days or whatever, sure, but that did not last very long at all, and was generally because I was into other things, or was a little tired of them at that moment. All I know is I'm done for today. And I'm going to take this one day at a time. 17 months ago
I’m going to uninstall all the programs I have that run games on both my laptop and my computer rig. Going cold turkey, but I don’t want to waste any more of my time on something that distracts me from what I’m really passionate about! 20 months ago