I’ve created a mess out of my paranoia and trust issues..now its coming back to haunt me. I can’t trust anyone ..not even my family members let alone my husband. I don’t feel mentally healthy. My husband is a beautiful man but i realize i cause him pain but then i think to myself someday he will snap and walk out on me. He respects me and my privacy but me not so much. I feel terribly guilty and ashamed about that. He says he’ll love me more and won’t ever leave my side no matter how crazy i become…if anything he’ll love me more. I’ve never met a man like him before so i’m afraid of losing him. I want to trust him as he doesn’t deserve this. But then sometimes i think what if he changes on me and becomes this crazy manipulator and uses things against me, conspires against me and leaves me for another woman? These thoughts continues and these are possible thoughts.. I’m in a deep hole of paranoia. Hopefully I can find the light and lose the fear someday. 16 months ago
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