honor myself

I would like to treat myself like a precious object. This means drinking more water, quit biting my nails and ripping my cuticles to shreds, sleeping when I need to, and listening to myself and trusting.

...to learn to seek help when I need it:

• for the physical, emotional, and spiritual!

I have never been comfortable with the idea of spending time on myself. But I have begun to understand that caring for my self (my physical, spiritual, and intellectual self) is important.

I am attempting to start small. So, tonight I will put on lovely music, drink some tea, and do my nails before I go to bed.

Tomorrow: exercise!

...to take time to be aware of who i am; to believe that i am worthy; to give myself permission to feel beautiful!

I’m in a much better place. And proud of the stance I took.

OK, I can wear jeans and tshirts to work every day, and generally I do. But this is a world based on appearances, and it’s good to remember to look good sometimes.

Today, I honor myself by wearing pinstriped slacks, a black silk blouse, black boots, and gold earrings.

Man, I clean up well.

in these meetings with Ex and his new wife. For 2 years, I’ve run away from her, hurting because he was with her instead of loving me. Now, as I meet with them weekly to talk about the kids’ progress, I can see that he’s doing to her exactly what he’s doing to me, and she is frustrated and beginning to doubt her trust in him. I remember being in that place, emotionally. It’s not a good place to be.

I will never be there again. He doesn’t have that hold over me, and I can walk out at the end of the meeting. What wonderful, marvelous freedom!

about the Ex. Really, the hospital experience exposed him as he really is. I’m back in my zone and pretty darned happy about it.

today was about doing this. My brother had to leave early this morning—I didn’t want him on the road after dark—and I was a bit at loose ends after he left. I had been reading The Kite Runner, a Christmas gift, and decided rather than moving straight into doing the dishes and cleaning up everything, I would stay curled up and read the book as long as I wanted.

It’s been a cold, drizzly day, and there is something so warming about curling up with my soft throw in my favorite chair, with coffee and a leftover piece of pie, watching the shadows grow deeper and my home brighten into a glowing center of comfort.

There will be tomorrow for the work of putting away silver, of washing and cleaning. These small spaces of comfort, they are rarer than we like to admit. I think I’ll admit more of them into my life.

involves being aware of one’s own worth as a child of God.

It’s not always easy for me to feel that anymore. Weighed down by my own sin, I have trouble sometimes remembering that I am blessed. That God is willing… has already, loved me as I am. That although I walk away from Him, He never walks away from me.

That strong love, it can give me the ability to raise my expectations of how I will be treated. It can give me (if I let it) the ability to resist the urge to ignore my son’s treating me disrespectfully.

Because the only way to teach him respect is to insist on it in his treatment of me, and model it in my treatment of him.