pay more attention to my dreams

Whew, I had this is right after Mother dream…

I dreamed my father (who is still alive) died about an hour after I had a phone conversation with him. He seemed happy on the phone but I didn’t say I love you, which I sorely regretted when I learned that he died. Then he came back to life and I got the chance to say it. He was talking about otherwordly/ astrological things (which he is not into in real life). My mother also was alive in this dream, but sick. I knew that the time I had with both of them was precious and fleeting. I began asking questions about how to work and configure things in the house. I wanted to update everything so that when they both died I would know how to work it.

Last night I had a dream that Manhattan was on fire. It was like the set of a play was set aflame – that’s the way it looked, cartoonlike. I was in the position to help people get out of a second story window. My main concern was making sure they left with all their medication, so I gathered it in a 1 gallon ziploc bag and handed it to each person as they left the window. In the dream my mother was alive and still in the building. I was waiting for her and growing worried. I knew she wouldn’t fit through the window but I was more concerned that she hadn’t yet woken up from all the noise – it seemed impossible.

What’s strange is that my mind must still register my mother as alive, because in dreams it never feels like she has been gone a long time, or that she ever died. It feels quite normal that she is there. Even in my waking reality I sometimes catch myself going to call her to tell her about something. In dreams it is a common theme that I am worried about her, or waiting for her. Just before or right after the dream ends I remember she is dead and I am so happy that I got to spend that time with her because I can really feel her presence, energy and personality, which I miss so much.

Found this at soul-centered therapy website:

Dreamwork in Gestalt Therapy can be lively and exciting. We discover meanings and connect with our deeper feelings and energies by “living” portions of our dreams. This experiential dreamwork facilitates personal growth and healing.

I illustrate this below by presenting a sample dream of “Sue” (a fictitious character). Sue, who rarely takes risks, dreams of skydiving with her cousin Jake, an adventurous man whom Sue admires.

Step 1. Tell the Dream. In Gestalt Therapy, we typically start by telling a dream in the present tense. For example, Sue might say:

I’m in a small airplane with my cousin Jake. I notice we’re both wearing parachutes. The door of the plane is open and I feel the wind rushing by. I look outside and all I see are clouds and open sky. I can barely see the ground below. I’m scared, yet at the same time I’m eager to get out there, to fly with the wind. Jake says, “Don’t worry. It’s easy.” He crouches in the doorway and leaps out. The next instant, I’m falling through the sky. What a rush!! I see the red and blue of my parachute opening up around me. Then I wake up.

Step 2. Notice What Stands Out. Next, we ask ourselves, What part of the dream stands out to us? A particular scene, event, character, object or abstraction might be especially striking. For example, the sky, the jump, Jake, the plane or the experience of flying or falling might stand out for the dreamer or the therapist/listener. On some important level, all of these images and experiences are part of the dreamer. They could represent the dreamer’s traits, feelings, attitudes or hidden potentials.

Step 3. “Become” Part of the Dream. Next, the dreamer “becomes” a character or object in the dream. One obvious choice for Sue is to “become” Jake. She can then describe herself as Jake and get a sense of what it is like for her to “be” Jake. In this way, she can begin to experience and embody the adventuress in herself. (She could also be the plane, the ground, the open sky, the clouds, the parachute, or the unmentioned pilot.)

Step 4. Dialogue. Sue can then engage in a dialogue between characters or objects in the dream. She can alternately “be,” and give a voice to, one or more dream characters or objects. For example, “Jake” can converse with Sue, or the parachute can speak with the earth below. These dialogues help bring together the diverse aspects of Sue which are scattered among the different images in the dream. In this way, Sue may achieve a greater balance and harmony within herself.

Another option in Gestalt dreamwork is:

Formulate an Existential Statement. An “existential statement” summarizes a basic theme in the dream which is also an important theme in the dreamer’s waking life. For example: “I’m falling through the air, and I feel great!”

This sentence captures the pleasure of descending from the “height” of Sue’s overly cautious mind into “freefall” the flow of her life force rushing perhaps towards a “grounded” sense of self, protected by a parachute which might represent Sue’s inner wisdom. (Of course, “Sue” is a fictitious character. If this were a real dream by a real person named “Sue,” I wouldn’t be 100% sure what her symbols such as the plane and the parachute mean. The exact and more complete meaning of Sue’s symbols are best derived from direct experience, by having Sue “become” these symbols.)

People can do this dreamwork on their own, although it’s often helpful to have at least one other experienced person involved in the process. This can be done in workshops, ongoing groups and individual sessions.

More information:
If you are interestedIin workshops and groups involving various forms of dreamwork, you can contact the Association for Research and Enlightment (ARE www.edgarcayce.org) or Association for the Study of Dreams (ASD www.asdreams.org) to help you locate a group or workshop near you. On-line dream sharing and cooperative dreamwork is available through several websites. See the Links page.

For deeper, individualized dreamwork, I recommend private psychotherapy, especially if you are dealing with extremely personal or very challenging problems. Not all therapists work with dreams, so you might want to ask about this before you make an appointment.

If you are drawn to the Gestalt approach, you can find a therapist through www.gestaltcomprehensive.com/directory/institute.html, or your local Yellow Pages.

In New York City, you can try www.gestaltassociates.com, or contact me at (212) 501-4647 or DrLGreenberg@aol.com.

I would like to remember, record, reflect on and in general, give a little more consideration to my dream life. There is so much activity, so much “free information”, color and inspiration to be found.

i’ve been slacking off at this for a long time… but its sooo important.