decide if I'm an atheist

I don’t want to say I’m an atheist because of the hatred looks in others eyes. But I dont want to say I believe in God when I have so much doubts. Im not completely sure on what I believe in. Is it fair that they say that non believers will spend an eternity in hell just because you don’t believe in God? It puts so much fear in the ones who have the doubts about religion.
I’m pretty sure I dont believe in all the religious stuff. But Im terrified of telling others.

i’ve known for a while that i am an atheist but i guess i’ve always had doubts. mostly becaseu of how my friend react to it. they are all religious, but not like churchy people. it was always a touchy subject and i was always so scared to tell them. i have finally admited it, they had lots of questions but im okay with it now.
but often times i feel like my friends purposly send me emails about loving god, to text messages about not being scared to admite i believe in him. i think they do this because they wanted me to be like them. which is exactly like my friends too..they are the ‘popular’ girls, we are not expected to be any different. i hate it, but i deal.

this is a picture of a few of my friends, the blonde is extremely religious, and the one in the sweater doesnt have much of a preferance, but there i am, in the white hoodie

I guess I am. Although I am not confident enough with myself to actually tell any of my family. I just can’t go with religion for now. It’s not logical and it doesn’t fit into my life. There is always room for change later, as the book on life does not close until life is at its end. But for now, I just can’t bring myself to believe that religion has truth in it.

Creationism is an interesting idea. I don’t really think I believe it, but if you were the ant in my antfarm would you believe there was an ultimate being that created your ‘universe’. I guess the same idea could apply to us. Could there be some giant somewhere that created the universe? Not as far as scientists have been able to figure out, but the ants wouldn’t figure it out either.

I am NOT and ANT!!!

I was thinking this morning while waiting in traffic in rural Virginia lol. Anyways, I was thinking well what if it is true that non-believers spend eternity in hell, or some near equivalent. What a shame that would be to end up in hell for eternity because I lived my life in religious uncertainty. I quickly came to my senses though. The whole hell thing just has to be a ploy to scare people into religion, and I don’t want to be scared into it. I want to make a logical choice based on reasonable thoughts.

The only real pulls I have towards Christianity, or any other religion at this point, are kind of fading. When I see the complexity of nature, I am compelled (as a natural human instinct I believe) to think that there must have been something to design it. But logically, that argument does not fit through my head. I cannot logically understand a greater being capable of creation and destruction at will with full control of the universe.

I can’t help but feel like religion is just the modification of what was once a controlling agent for societies. They rope in as many as they can with promise of eternity in heaven and then scare in the rest with the threat of eternity in hell. Then it would look like it wasn’t the government controlling everyone. Great idea for the government if you think about it…

As it stands…I’m probably leaning 3/4 atheist now.

I struggle with questions like this. I was brought up attending church every week, went through confirmation, and always thought I believed. The last several years have really challenged me though. I have been living with the assumption that I know longer believe, but I thought I would form this into a ‘thing’ and see what came out of it.

Most people have an incorrect definition of atheism. It is not simply a belief in nothing. Rather it is a celebration of life. If this life is all you have, you live it to the fullest. I really like this point of view and no matter what I decide, I will incorporate it more into my life.

When I spoke to my grandfather about being Christian, his philosophy was “why not? what do I have to lose?”. I think this is another credible point of view. Maybe it is not the purest of believers idea of Christianity, but I think more people hold it true than we are led to believe.

I am still undecided, but I know I disagree with many things I hear in church services of all varieties and I do not disagree with the atheistic ideals. To be continued…