appreciate my friends

I love my friends and I think they are the best friends one could actually have. But sometimes, I just take their friendship for granted and don’t appreciate what they do for me. I want to change that because they deserve that I do the same for them that they do for me.

I need to learn to appreciate the friends I have and not wish I knew other interesting ones. Not that I dont like these ones, I’m just always looking for someone a bit more like me. The problem is I’m always searching, and I’m missing out on the good and beautiful things in these friends, in everybody, and then when someone exceptional comes along I’m too afraid of what they’ll think of me, and be balancing between holding too much back and giving too much away. I feel like an alien sometimes, I dont think I’m the only one to feel that a bit; its like I’ve just been dropped in the middle of the world and I dont quite understand how anything works. Why isnt there an instruction book for people and the dozens of “looks” and friends and conversation and everything that makes people so…. confusing.

Except for the ones that are genuine peices of shits. You know what? I guess I should appreciate them too.