wean my child gently

It’s been 10 days since he’s had a sip.

He’s still asking for it but he seems to know he’s just making noise – not really thinking he’ll get it. He’s only a bit upset.

There is a lot of “playing with the sippies” which mostly involves trying to stick his hands down my cleavage and yesterday he was blowing raspberries on it – but not trying to “get” them, just “saying hi”.

Now we just need to get him the promised car. Oh, and have the breasts stop aching.

The reality has definitely set in for the chum. He knows that the end of sippy is not just a phase mommy’s trying out and he’s hating it.

Nap time in the car was heart-breaking too. He said, “I’m a baby. I don’t want to be a big boy anymore. I’m a baby. I want a sippy.” He did fall asleep within 15 minute of back road driving and there was no wailing but the quiet whining was almost more heartbreaking.

And the foretold regression is beginning. When mom came over to watch him for 2 hours, mom, the most adored grandma, there was screaming hysterics when I went to leave – for a biweekly routine thing that h totally understands the pattern of. Issues like this are why we still go to counseling after 5 years!

Anyway, talking with the therapist helped. Of course it hurts me to do this and it’s a bit harder knowing that he is my only child and that I’ll never have this connection with anyone else again.

But….. I need him to be a bit more independent of me. I need him to be able to go to preschool. I need him to let me have a night away with the husband. I need to have my breasts back as sexual objects!

So onward we go. I an giving him lots of additional cuddles. I am letting him pull up my shirt and play with my tummy and get all the skin to skin contact he wants. And I am loving the hell out of him.

But I don’t want to give in.

It’s funny. This is the first time I’ve ever found 43 things to be counterproductive to a goal. I want to wean him. I really do. I remember feeling very strongly that way last week.

But whenever anyone says anything that supports continuing, I start to doubt myself.

But damn, the goal is to do it gently and I’ve done it over 6 months. Can one really be anymore gentle when the wean-ee (Ha! Weenie!) doesn’t want to cooperate? I think this is the kindest you can get without actually being the crunchy mom nursing her 4 1/2 year old I saw the other day at the park.

Today was much harder. It’s really the first time that he’s been ready for a nap and a) I was there and b) we were at home. The chum got back from the playground with his grandparents and was wiped out and was asking for “A little sippy and a nappy.” What was one to do? No way was I going to relent after 3 days without it. So I told him that we were “all done with sippy” and the tears and wailing began. I told him how he was a big boy with o sippy anymore – like his cousins and blah blah blah. He could not have cared less. He wanted a cuddly sip with mommy.

I took the tearful one out for a drive and he was asleep after about 10 minutes of back roads – after some objection to quiet music that was “too sad’ and a sing-along to You Are My Sunshine.

I am sad about this. I know he’s 2 and nearly ¼ and I am very ready to have the gnawing on the nipples stop but….

I miss the cuddling and it is so hard to hear the quiet sleepy voice in the back seat sadly repeating, “All done with the sippy. No sippy any more.”

I know I have done this all as gently as possible – given the fact that he would prefer to keep nursing for a year or so more. But it’s still sad.

I’m a bit sore.

He’s car napped all 3 times which is a bummer because when exactly am I supposed to be working? It’s not like one can get him out of the car sleeping.

I’m also a bit sad.

Sippies all done. Bye bye to the sippies. As of the return home, no more sippy.

We’re hoping to get him to nap in the car for a few days to ease the transition.

Oh, and we’re bribing him with a ride-in push car like those Little Tykes one – but we need to find one that’s bigger because the chum is giant.

We seem to be moving beyond this point now. He’s asking for it in the morning sometimes but more resigned to not getting that.

But I say that with a few reservations. This morning when he woke at 4:30 he was positively hysterical for it and kept wailing and begging for a good half hour.

Aside from that (and let’s all hope this was a 1 time deal!) he does ask for sip whenever he feels tired or unhappy during the day, there is a lot more grabbing down the shirt than there ever was before, and there is a lot of panicky talk about “sippy at nap time” around lunch time.

He’s also still doing a lot of regressive stuff and being very very clingy.

I’m concerned about how long we should stay at this level (one a day). He’s freaked out and all so maybe I should just push on….. but honestly, I have no idea how he is going to get to sleep for a nap without it. It’s not like he naps on his own and he rarely sleeps in the car…..

A professional bra fitting. You know I’ll need it.

When will the plaintive crying end?

Well, there was much less today but still…

And lets talk about engorgement. Ow.

Not happy. Not not not not happy.

About a half an hour of inconsolable crying mingled with attempts to get me to do things I could see were the ‘first steps’ of getting sip – such as going upstairs, sitting on the couch….

I did not give in even though he sounded particularly snotty and I started to worry that he was getting a worse cold (we all have a fatiguing cold right now).

Also seeing generally regressive, clingy behavior across the board – and increased naughty stuff too. Poor tiny man.

But this was really morning 2 – which is always the worst in these changes. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and then adjustment will come.

He was up at 5:15. Didn’t want milk, didn’t really want to cuddle either.

He wanted to go upstairs and “cuddle in a big bed” but once we got there he just wanted to go back downstairs and “play!”

A few polite grabs for the sippies and a few quick mentions of nap time sips and that was it.

I just wish we didn’t get up so early – but I guess I’ll adjust eventually.