challenge myself every day

thank you folks.

ive decided to make things clear.
so i finish this now.

i have to challenge myself in many ways…using 43 things!

im yet concerned which way is good for me.
its about how to be more swift at what i have to do in every day life.

using to-do list now
but the ultimate problem is my lazy attitude.

im sure its difficult to change myself in a day.

yet struggling…

that was absolutely challenging for me.
guess what?
yes, being with people for a long time in my private time.
i prefer silence. a chatterbox is the most impossible role for me.
being with people is nice and i do it normally but only for few hours at most.

this time, my friends and i went to a trip for attending our friends wedding.
left our town yesterdays night, got 2 hours drive in one car, had dinner and drink till almost morning.
i could happily have about 4 hours loneliness in my room at a hotel. just spent the time for sleeping.
we departed in the morning and attended the wedding ceremony and its party for about 5 hours.
i was almost mad already.
’ i dont wanna make laughs and have crazy chats! i do wanna be alone and feel ease!’
no, it was impossible.
after that we went to a sightseeing for a castle, buying souvenirs in a department store, got on a car for about 3 hours.
there i didnt talk so much. i couldnt. just smiling and expressing a feeling of ‘i agree’ when it was needed.

finally, im back.
now in my room.
released!!!!!

recently i cant use my pc on my free time.
its not because of my work but my poor time handling.

anyways,
yesterday i could help others twice.

first, in a bar i go frequently, a woman i dont know missed some steps and fell down when she was about to leave there.
we heard a strange sound and saw each other at the time.
i asked a barmaid to see what had happened.
she didnt come back soon.
i went there as well and found two women were downstairs sitting.
the customer was not crying but seemed so shocked.
she said she hit her face, breast and leg.
i checked her leg.
one of her pants was cut.
i could see her bone inside…
the barmaid had been upstairs and i chased at that time.
asked to call an ambulance.
took some clean paper towels and put them and my hand to her cut.
there werent so much blood but the cut was not that normal.
soon the ambulance came and we saw her carried…

second. in a bus.
i sometimes take a bus till the last stop.
i found a woman was sleeping after we reached the stop.
shaked her and saw her awake,
i took off the bus and my way home.
she didnt notice what i did i guess.
but i was happy then.

i didnt update this for a while.
ive been a tide.
it cant be told easily.
but still its a challenge for me…

its very difficult to change my feeling!

since yesterday i was reading a book has about 860 pages.
finished it just now.
kind of tired.
but it gave me a feeling of an achievement actually.

for 10 days, ive been working in very small company.
a friend asked me to go there for a while.

a clerk in the company is having holiday
and they need a person who just takes care of their phone calls during the period.

watering plants, washing ashtreys,
then waiting for calls.
thats all i have to do.
oh, i must feed birs as well!

because calls are not so many, i have a lot of time indeed.
a president of the company allows me to do anything i want.
so im studying english and reading books there.

im challenging to achieve goals of
‘read more books’ and ‘finish “english grammar in use”’!

oh…i was sure i can do more but im sure i dont do a lot of things.

did several things.
yes.
yes?
i can do more.
i must be able to do more.

but these kind of thought may not be accepted.
some says too much aim is not good for our mental health.

i didnt do anything if i were a person who i was today.
got up, cooked, managed some dealings…
of course those aresmall things.
but i felt something has been changing inside me.

i know i can do more things.
i should.

but it might be a bad thing to think.
some say these kind of thinkings do harm.