learn to deal with deadlines better.

Well; finished yesterday’s goals today. Apart from the early poetry. It’s weird, but ever since my trauma thing my efficiency has been SLASHED. They said it would happen, and I didn’t believe them. Gotta set lower goals as not to be CONSTANTLY disappointed.

OK. One essay tomorrow.
Another essay on Tuesday.

No going to London until they’re done.

Yeah, didn’t finish the three things that time. SIGH! OK. Today’s goals: Write a Troilus commentary. Print, mail and pidge three things to correct recipients.
Translate and adapt one movie review. Write another one from scratch.
Reread Chaucer’s early poetry in preparation for tomorrow’s essay-writing.

Not an impossible plan at all, but I need to take time for shower and lunch first, or nothing will come of it.

OK. Three things to write tonight.

Just three. That’s three all day, with time since noon to get it done, too.

I’ve spent the afternoon in cafés reading the Mediator-series.
And now, finally home, I’m procrastinating on 43.

I’ve time til midnight.

This would work a WHOLE lot better if I hadn’t staid up to three in the morning writing something that was due by ten P.M, and got so worked up I was still not asleep by 4.30.

Focus, woman. Think of the money.

iam making some progress with this keep on improving man//

Let’s see… I’ve handed in all work-work on time this week so far, except a ten-line piece that we traditionally do two days past deadline (excuses, I know)... and I’ve extended the translation deadline tomorrow a little, but in a way that doesn’t hold up anybody else.

The cities essay is still not done. I’m procrastinating through further study. I dropped the whole urban Gothic thing and just decided to do it on T.S.Eliot instead. It sure takes a crazy deadline-avoider like me to not do it once I’ve already done the reading. Oh well. It will have to be Saturday.

1 – the article

The first version was handed in on the correct day (Monday). Then the editor was out of town and didn’t read it the next day, which made me drop the ball a little. Said I would “probably” do another version before she got back. Did it this morning, when she was already back. Emailed it to interviewee for checking. She was about to board an L.A.-Stockholm flight and couldn’t read it for another 24 hours. I emailed the editor and said she’ll have it tomorrow. No answer – sign of resentment or indifference?

2 – the theory essay

Emailed in on the day after the deadline. Paper copy pidged two days after deadline. No comment on lateness, good grade. Must be considered OK. However, since I was late, I didn’t actually read all of the relevant Fish. Less good, since I need it for exams.

3 – the city essay

Tutor said she won’t mark until second week at the earliest and we can hand them in later. 2 week starts on Sunday and I haven’t even finished the one book I’m reading. On the other hand it’s just three pages. Status: OK, but unless I do it this weekend my planning goes to hell.

Next week deadlines:

1) City essay
DL: OPEN

2) Hitch-hiker’s interviews (require transcribing):
DL: TUE (morning)

3) Strict metre poem for commentary class:
DL: TUE (morning)

4) Short GENRE essay for theory class Thursday:
DL: THU (requires reading 250 pages of Duff, which I haven’t started)

5) Short Beckett essay
DL: March last year. Pathetic.

Other things I should do next week: start my reviews for the following-week deadlines.
Start the translation of the San Fransisco article if I receive it by Friday.

I work as a freelance writer, ok, and have deadlines CONSTANTLY. I’m also a student, and have work to submit at least once a week.

So, sure, I’m overworked, no doubt about it. And I’ve also become very, very good at knowing which deadlines I can cross without being fired and which ones I can’t. But… it’s SO UNPROFESSIONAL! It drives me CRAZY! I’m really quite good at my job and editors cut me a lot of slack but that doesn’t make it OK, it just makes me feel even MORE ashamed of myself.

Also, since I realised I can’t really get kicked out of Uni for not handing in work on time I just haven’t met a deadline precisely, like, even once. ARGH. Even when I know I do this not to fall into the burn-out-hole again, having work undone is almost as stressful.

But… even if I handed stuff in on time there would ALWAYS be something due in just a couple of days. That’s the POINT of living a free lance life. CRAP.

I’ve done an interview for ELLE that’s due on Monday and I can’t make myself write the story. I’m such an idiot. I’ve watched First Daughter, read a sizeable chunk of Bergdorf Blondes, spent time fiddling with the essay that was due yesterday, cleaned my room, gone massively grocery shopping and committed myself to things on Sunday that I can’t get out of now.

Way to go, Einstein, now you’ll have to work all night tomorrow.

Have. Got. To. Be. Better. About. Deadlines.

Hmmm how many deadlines have I missed lately? Ugg, I need to work on this.