be a sex kitten

I worked on becoming a better sex kitten today ;) invent a new sex position

mmm I’m learning to be one on www.rude.com/leiaswift

recently…someone pointed out to me that for someone so ocd..i had let my HVAC unit get quite dirty…

sooo..i wiped the whole thing down ..lovingly.. with windex wipes and removed the filter..it was pretty dirty..
so i took it out front to hose it off.._{like the directions tell you to!!}

Keep in mind that i live in a pretty active part of the city..with lots of nightlife..so this was prime time…there were folks going across the street to the movies…and a LINE of folks to get into a club next door…not to mention the bouncers and guards _{that i have to see EVERY day}...

i hooked up the hose.. and..promptly…. squirted myself right in the face…
which startled me so i squealed a loud girly squeal..which meant…anyone who hadnt actually witnessed me squirting myself…. turned and got to watch me struggle with the writhing hose… and then ..i had to turn it off.. BUT… i accidentally unhooked the hose.. so water was squirting EVERYWHERE… and i was now completely soaked..cuz..im kinda short and i couldnt reach the spicket..so im straining ..and getting water alll in my face and down my arms…. and the the security guard from across the street yells…

“show it who’s boss shorty!!!”

nobody walking by offered to help..cause they were alllll dressed up for their night on the town…
and well..i ended up looking like the only one that showed up for a wet t-shirt contest … in chinatown….
xoxo…

for breakfast! how sex kitten is that???!!!
ok..well it would have been more sex kittenish to have them fed to me in bed.. but they were pretty good standing in the kitchen in my sweats too! lol
xoxo

of snow…

first..i prob wont be able to move my european sports car til june-ish.. instead of plowing me out..the snow plows plowed me in…they have me trapped behind a formidable icy snow wall

second..stilettos dont keep your tootsies dry or warm.. and the only shoes i have with me that dont have at least a four inch heel are my turquoise suede driving moccasins… which look silly with almost ALL my clothes (remember they are for driving they usually dont come out of the car) and to boot…(ha a pun!) they dont have “real” soles..they have little nubby bits of soles that “leave pretty footprints”

third…. i had to buy socks at CVS drugstore in Detroit..(what kind of blond idiot goes to detroit in Feb..and doesn’t take any socks??)i dont have any and wasnt planning to wear any..but damn..it was seriously cold..and well…i give up!!
then i get back to dc and well it canada cold here too!! and in the country we have 4 to 6 inches of snow that wont melt..cause its freaking freeeeezing out there…

MOTHER NATURE….you win

sooo…this sex kitten is gonna curl up by the fireplace this weekend go NOWHERE…and hope for a thaw!
please send hot steamy thoughts to dc and surrounding areas!!
xoxo

i KNOW that sex kittens theoretically shouldnt be AFRAID of MICE..BUT…i just got to my little country nest..AND…guess what? somebody….has chewed a little hole in the bag of bagles i left on the counter and helped him or her self to some really tasty Whole Wheat Bagles!! and now…
im a scardy cat… Id take a pic for y’all but im tooo afraid to go into the kitchen!! AND…
ive got 18 coming over for superbowl party on sunday…..
OMG….
at times like this..i wouldnt mind having a man around the house!!
any suggestions????
xoxo

but evidently… i put a thong in my briefcase
and today …
it fell out at an inappropriate time… what on earth was i thinking??
xoxo

Its a famous quote..that i am embarrassed to say.. i am not sure who to give credit for… sorry.. BUT seems to apply to being a Sex Kitten.. as evidenced yesterday….
i was inspired to try running the stairs in my office building for a little extra exercise… by great 43thingers here
the first day i did it in my pumas ..but sex kittens dont wear sneakers to work often soooo yesterday ..i did it in these…
needless to say..i crossed myself.. and kept one hand on the hand rail! ...it was not nearly as hard as you would think.. was wayyyy easier than chasing a tow truck, dragging your european sports car,through chinatown .. oh wait.. i did that BAREFOOT and in my pajamas…... but that is another story ....ok was WAAAAY easier than a two hour tango lesson 5 inch stilettos….
xoxo

• mani pedi 2 hours – once a week
• workout with antoine 1 hour -3x a week
• dermatologist appt for facial 2 hours – twice a month
• appt with Laser Center _{long run..no more shaving legs…but short term means 4 hour long appointments every few weeks..ugh}
• Deep conditioning treatment for hair 1 hour once a week
• Hair trim and color 4 hours every other month
• Massage 1 hour twice a month
• Dry Cleaners 15 min once a week
• Brow and Bikini Wax 30 Min twice a month
• Teeth Whitening 3 hours daily for 14 days
• Tanning session (i gotta be ready for dubai beaches!) 30 Min 3x a week
• Flowers for the City 30 Min walk to florist once a week (unless they are a gift!)
• Book Club (sex kittens need to be literate) 4 hours a month + reading the book
• cleaning (sex kittens have tidy little dens) daily

none of this includes travel time.. and in this area the journey can take longer than the appointment… soo you can see when you work all this maintenance into a schedule that includes a full time job, friends and family obligations, along with heavy doses of travel.. well…whew!.. and well the trick to being a sex kitten seems to be…being able to do all of the above PLUS your routine maintenece and make it look effortless..
but dont get me wrong…im not complaining… being a girl.. a sex kitten no less.. is really great.. i wouldnt trade it for anything!! in the end.. its the puuurrrrrfect recipe for trouble..
xoxo

you do inventory your sex kittens, dont you??
xoxo