Work on my secret project

It’s not done yet, but I have worked on it and having it here made me realize the importance of chipping away at this long term project. Now it’s in the forefront of my mind.

i’m almost done with the blueprints.

The shovel is out to dig the grave where it belongs. Just can’t beat a dead horse any longer, when its dead its dead.

:(

because my emotions move so fiercely when I do.

This may take longer than I hoped, or maybe it will simply be less dense.

I think the latter is better.

I have a job in London! Applying for jobs and flying over for interview has taken up a huge amount of my time over the past few months, which is the main reason why I’ve been so absent from 43t, but it was worth it! I interviewed with a fantastic company on Friday and found out yesterday I have the job, I’m so thrilled, I haven’t been this excited since I moved to Paris. I did have a job lined up with a company here in Dublin, and I feel really bad about letting them down, but I realised I just didn’t want to settle. I start in September, I can’t wait! :D

I almost feel like I am bipolar with this (nothing against people that are affected with this). There are days that I cannot even sit still I am such on a high that I actually going to do this. BUT there are those days where I am scared shitless and I think “WTF am I doing are you nuts??”.

I actually have a date for my secret project, things have been bought and the wheels are in motion, ready or not, its happening!!

_{BTW – only 24 days!!}

Jen is my friend who encouraged me with my art for the original (Burn the Witch) art show… and then, this year, I helped again… stage managing, performing, displaying my art… she and I have become very close friends and I have been encouraging her, too… our own little microcosm of artists here in Bakersfield.

She says she has barely been able to keep up with herself energetically since V-Day… she said she is still carrying around the audience response since then and is now a changed person and not quite sure what to do with this change. (Makes me laugh because she was so resistant to it!)

She has a variety of illnesses that make her more comfortable in her apartment than out of it, so I went to her home for tea and cookies and conversation and we spoke of a variety of breakthroughs. She has had quite a leap since I started the “On the Edge” series… and I shared with her some of my Secret Project.

As we were talking about it, my whole chest heated up, my upper torso from my hands through my chest and back out again was buzzing. I had to stop talking and breathe into it.

We were both sitting there, crying, humbled and amazed.

Power women.

So if I am not here that much, you’ll know why.

And if I am here a lot, somebody kick me!

on one aspect of this project. We are meeting on Monday at about 6 pm. I feel like we are on a reconnaissance mission of some sorts, which I guess we are, actually.

I left her a voice mail and she called me back, without listening. I said, “I left you this crazy, sorta veiled message because I have this secret goal I am working on and only feel comfortable enlisting the help of people who respect the secrecy of this and will get what the heck I am doing.”

I figure anyone who can howl at wild animals with me can do this with me. Plus, I think on that evening last Fall we started something, put something into motion, that is a part of this birth process.

Very cool.

Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

and it seems like it will take longer than I expected, but that could just be the sorta drainy feeling of having full responsibility for my children throughout the day and night during Spring break without access to my project (since we only have one computer these days and I pretty much let them use it when we are home…. )

Still excited, but kinda getting into that “let’s get down to work NOW!” space.