become a really great tattooer.

vinny meyer from florida just came up to run the shop for jerry this month. had a snoop through his sketchbook last night and there was some sick stuff. hopefully i can learn a few things from him.

what an absolutely daunting feeling i have about my future in tattooing. i’ve managed to muster the courage to put my education on hold, and even to explain to my family the reasons i’m pursuing tattooing. i’m giving up a lot to go after this, but that’s not the problem or the reason i’m feeling TERRIFIED.

i’m really afraid of not measuring up. i’ve admired so many tattooers for a long time now. about a year ago, a really respected artist from vancouver said, “ask yourself, ‘what do i have to bring to tattooing?’ if the answer is ‘not much’, then perhaps you should just forget about it.”

i thought about that question for a long time. the thought of not being the best at what i do really bothers me. some days i look at hunter spanks’ water colours, jason lambert’s dragon’s or steve more’s epic tattooing, and i feel so insignificant and incomparable. i know that i’ll never necesairily be the best tattooer around. it’s more so the thought of these great artists i admire, these hard working tattoors, not thinking i’m up to snuff that bothers me. i don’t want to be a joke, i guess. i want them to be flattered by the fact that i list them as inspiration, not embarrassed.

i’m going to be learning how to tattoo from a man who’s on the top of my ‘people i admire’ list. i’ve been looking at his artwork since i was 13, which isn’t a long time considering he’s been tattooing for 46 years. the man is a legend and greatly respected in the tattoo world. he’s the definition of old school and he’s seen the tattoo scene change and evolve and has survived it all. i know i’ll do well, and i’m ecstatic about the oportunity, but there’s still a really big part of me that’s afraid of disapointing him. i guess all i can do is work my ass off and keep my chin up.

i’m putting my education on hold to go after this. i’ve defered my acceptance to my bachelor of fine arts program and hope that i’ll be able to find out in this next year if tattooing is for me or not. i’m still not sure if droping everything to go after this is a good choice right now. i guess i’m just going with my gut.

my dad is extremely dissapointed, and refuses to talk to me until i ‘sort my life out’ and ‘get back on track’. i guess i understand his frustration, but still, it hurts to not have his support.

i’m gunna stay positive and just roll with this right now. after all, i’m 19. still growing up, still fucking up.