Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which I have any control: now.

Inteesting all the things I am lnot only learning about myself but also about the relationships I ahve chosen in my life. Interesting to see how I am changing and learning to cope with issues that have been long standing interferences in my life thus far. \

So, yah, I am learning from the past. I am learning to be more assertive. I am learning to recognize traits in others that have reminded me of events in my past and how they trigger certain reactions in me. I am learning to change those.

I am beginning to create soem very clear goals for my future. My only problem is in the number of goals which I have in my mind for myself.

I am controlling the moment at hand. The one that is most important, the right now. I am stll working on learning to cntrol my emotions\, my anger more specifically yet at the same time, it is helping me to be more assertive and helps me identify when I am being passive agressive and chaning that so I can ask for what I need or state what I truly feel.

this goal, even with my tempation to delete many times, is truly coming to fruition.

what have I learned from the past? I need to pay attention to what I eat EVERY DAY!! and not put it off to tomorrow. I need to remind myself to eat healthy every day and make sure I have good food in the house and watch my portion size. The most helpful of all habits would be to write down everything that I eat. (Like today, I ate three twizzlers. They were just sitting ther in an open bag on the kitchen table and I had three. But that is something I would forget or not included in my daily count. It is important if I really want to be successsful.)

My vivid detail goal for the future will be easier to visualize when I get my vision board completed. But until that time I would have to say that in my mind I can see the body under this one. I see the ease at which I move and in all the ways that a fitter, healthier, thinner body will serve me. I also see how I will feel and what opportunities it will open up to me.

To live in that moment that I have control over, right now, would mean to look at today, look at what I had for breakfast, what I packed for lunch, what I plan on eating for dinner. I can visualize the walk I plan on taking later in the day during my break, not once but twice.

slow but sure wins the race. even if it is only with yourself.

There are many many goals I am setting for my future that I cannot wait to crack into when I finish school and turn 18. Hopefully I’ll try to get them all wrote down.

Learn from the past- stick to your deal breakers. If I have designated it as a dealbreaker, don’t change my opinion no matter how much I really want things to work out.

Set vivid detailed goals for the future- I really don’t want to be looking for a new love at this point. I can set up some vivid detailed goals about some other things that I wasn to change and happen in my life right now. I can and will set up a vivid and detailed idea of what I really want in a relationship but later, not now.

live in the only moment of time over which I have any control: now- well, since there is really no other choice, I guess that will be the deal. I can be strong at this very moment. Try to find something to look forward to today. Look for some love and support from friends and family. Stay away from the booze and stay focused on the other areas of your life that need me and attention. Keep the intention that taking care of myself will soothe and heal me. Reward myself with a massage, a movie, a pedicure, hot chocolate, long drives, walks downtown with the lights flashing, hot baths, luxurious body lotions, a clean house, a new perspective and hope.

Lessons from my life:
One: Respect goes two ways. Do not waste respect on those who do not respect you.
Two: Sometimes there will be people, in my case a teacher, who will go above and beyond the call of duty. They are the kind that you will remember for the rest of your life. The kind who, when you leave a class, you will not only have learned about their subject, but learned about life. Strive to be one of these people.
Three: Those who wear a smile are very likeable.

I feel that my list of goals is manageable and when I look at them on a daily basis, I can comment on the progress I am making on all of them. It also keeps me focused on the main thing. I am so happy that I reduced my list. I have found in the past when there is too many, that I forget what is most important and I am spread a little too thin. I can only do so much TODAY. But what I will do is relevant to my highest priorities. Sounds a little Stephen Covey’ish. My girls would laugh at me right now.

for the time being. It feels appropriate at this very momment. It may be something to think about for the time being. No matter what, there is a life lesson in all of this.

You ever get the sense that the Universe is shouting at you buyt you cannot seem to hear it? Or understand the message? I just wish it would shut up… I am not equal to the task.

I get caught between feeling small and insignificant when I look and feel the enormity of life around me… and egotistical to think that I even have a clue, because it is so clear that I dont!

I just want to sit here for awhile and be left alone. Without burdens and responsibilities and the need to make decisions.

Kind of like the whole creative visualization process… see it in your mind, live it in your mind and then make it a concrete reality.

I said I wanted to do photography and I am doing it. I said I can learn Russian (little “r”) and I was pulling it off. I guess it is true, you really can do anything.

I still have NOT learned from my past… but I am learning. So no checks yet… but getting closer. Maybe in another 50 years. :-)

“There are so many hammocks to catch you if you fall, so many laws to keep you from experience. All these cities I have been in the last few weeks make me fully understand the cozy, stifling state in which most people pass through life. I don’t want to pass through life like a smooth plane ride. All you do is get to breathe and copulate and finally die. I don’t want to go with the smooth skin and the calm brow. I hope I end up a blithering idiot cursing the sun – hallucinating, screaming, giving obscene and inane lectures on street corners and public parks. People will walk by and say, “Look at that drooling idiot. What a basket case.” I will turn and say to them “It is you who are the basket case. For every moment you hated your job, cursed your wife and sold yourself to a dream that you didn’t even conceive. For the times your soul screamed yes and you said no. For all of that. For your self-torture, I see the glowing eyes of the sun! The air talks to me! I am at all times!” And maybe, the passers by will drop a coin into my cup.”
Henry Rollins