List 69 things I shouldn't have done

on my tooth brush, it tastes like antifreeze

Rather than go back in time I may as well list what I shouldn’t have done starting today. You can gauge what a fool I am but how long it takes me to fill this list. So far today.

1. I didn’t have a shower before work or brush my teeth now they are feeling a bit fury, a small matter I know, but its the small things in my pants that cause big problems
2. Made the honest mistake of using, You must have gone to school with my daughter as a pickup line. She smiled looked at me funny and replied “I dont think so I am 42” – I looked again and replied “Well I just fucked that up”