My daughter is not mine biologically. our hearts found our way to one another when she was 4. I knew without a doubt that i was meant to be her mommy because we had something tragic on common. She had been severely sexually abused, as had I.
I had worked for years, after becoming an adult, with girls who had been abused. I had sat in group sessions, I had read books. I truly thought that i was OK.
Becoming her mom though, and waking up face to face with the coping mechanisms she had, and well… Over time, all sorts of unpleasantness and horror was triggered for me and i realized that i wasn’t ok. I was buried… inside i was as screwed up as ever, and this wasn’t pretty…
and i realized that she, as she grows, will model her habits and patterns after me. I knew i NEEDED to be the example of someone who found restoration and healing, despite my abuse. I needed to show her that type of grace, growth and inspiration.
A year ago i began an extensive therapy plan… and I am not even close to the woman i was that day, BUT I am no where near where i need to be…
We have been a family for 3 years now, and she is beautiful, brilliant, funny, and the light of my life. Together we learn how to be the best of what we are meant for…
