be less critical

I was visiting a friend recently, and she kept criticising the guests in the next room! I was afraid they could hear her. I realized that, being as critical as she was, she’d be criticizing me as soon as I left. (or maybe if I went to the bathroom, or tne next room…)
I didn’t like it, but I also saw myself in that; not that I could ever judge others to such an extent, but being critical is one of my weak points. I realize that critical people tend to be insecure, fearful, and lack joy in their lives many times, because they bring out the negativism from their hearts.
so, i began to quit judging others in my thoughts. If a thought occured to me that was negative about somebody, I immediately started excusing the person. Before my thoughts became words, they were diffused by my forgiveness, or by making allowances for people’s ‘faults.’ I think it has helped me a lot.

I had a small lightbulb moment this morning. I love to people-watch. Everywhere I go, whatever I’m doing, I am constantly people-watching. I could sit for hours in a crowded mall and just observe people. It occurred to me that this is the equivalent of sitting for hours and judging people. How could I possibly sit and watch the mother with her children, or the man and his pregnant wife, and not make some assumptions or judgements about them? I think in order to accomplish this goal of being less critical of others, one of my steps must be to stop spending so much time observing them. This time would likely be better used to observe myself.

I vowed many years ago not to make any more new year’s resolutions. It’s just been good (or bad) timing that recently a few people have told me that I’m a very critical or judgmental person. This is certainly not the way I want to be, nor be perceived. My first step is to start noticing when I’m doing it, because it happens so often I don’t even hear it.

It’s time I learn to be less critical of others. I recently realized that I am critical of people far more often than I realize. This weekend my Aunt made a comment about single and divorced women. She was being judgemental and it made me angry, but I later realized that I was being critical of her criticalness. When I think back on her face as she spoke the words “single women are lonely and need companionship”, I relaized that she is a lonely married woman. She’s in pain and she’s hurting. I realized that instead of being angry and juding her I should be compassionate and seek to understand her. This made me blink not once, but twice—and has put me on a new path to develop greater compassion for others and learn to be less critical.

Here’s an inspirational story I found today:

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young
woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t
know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young
woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice
clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has
learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”

The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our
windows.”

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

In closing, perhaps the faults we can so often identify in others are not so much their faults, but rather, those are the faults which lie deep within ourselves. And perhaps reminding myself of this will help me to be less critical and look in the mirror first.

It’s come up more than once as a way to describe me.
Maybe I’ve been too harsh on people without knowing it,
I want to be a more positive person.

not to judge people and remind myself to think of the possible reasons for their behaviour at some particular moment. Sometimes it works,(with the people I’m close to, mostly) and sometimes it doesn’t.
I’m also trying to focus on some positive and creative stuff rather than sitting around idly pointing fingers, so i think that’s a good direction to be on.

I can never decide…I want to be more relaxed and not obsess over things, but it is so easy for me to start thinking I’m being abused and taken for a fool, that I need to clear everything out that very moment. Maybe I’m too controlling, maybe I’m too feeble, maybe I’m just normal and it’s normal to have these kind of thoughts and questions?
Oh sometimes I wish it all came with a manual. Than I could worry if I’ve read it well enough and memorized it well enough or if I should chuck the bloody thing and just go about the best that I can…
Sometimes I feel my head’s gonna explode!!!
Or is it just the rainy days taking the best of me?
:-))))
:-(((

I’ve stopped telling people HOW things should be done, and I’ve not gone behind them to FIX it (‘to my way’), so I’ve let go of one really bad habit.

I think that I am better at not directing criticism at my partner, and replacing it with praise, which is improving our relationship.

Of Myself: getting better, for sure. Being more conscious of the negative thoughts, at the least. Well on the way to crossing this one off.

That’d be wiser, more flowy and better for those around me.

I think that no have improviments in this target