learn to pray

the first step was to notice when my spontaneous prayers tended to occur. funnily enough, it was always when i was in motion—in a car, on a bus, biking, walking…

from there i started to try to purposefully have some prayerful thoughts whenever i was in motion.

now i’ve started taking “prayer walks”...i walk, thinking about what i would like to pray about, until i come to a good place to sit, and then i sit and have silent prayer in that spot for a while.

i’m not sure if what i’m doing quite qualifies yet, but it’s definitely in the goodthoughts category, at least. and i am extending my ability to do it with purpose and a certain degree of forethought. which i think is good.

i would like to eventually learn to pray out loud, with words or in song. i think once i can do that, i will consider this goal accomplished.

I need God to help me to pray. To carve a unique identity with Him at home that is as as efficient as a maintenance agenda like SJC which prays everything to get everything done, and helps me to have dreams come true; something I desperately need.
I need to know Gods Love like Joyce Huggett who has lovely things happen to her but daily I run from him and not too Him as too many things have happened to compromise my life as a Christian and as a human being.

i have a really hard time figuring out how to address my concept of the divine. i sometimes do it spontaneously when i am very grateful or blissful or concerned, but i don’t really know how to intentionally sit down and pray, and it’s something i would like to do more regularly.

i think part of the difficulty is that i don’t really believe in a personified deity. i don’t belong to any particular faith, but my most prominent influence has been quakerism (on my mother’s side). i sometimes attend quaker meeting, and i am very much able to feel the divine presence in worship with others, but i find it difficult to address the divine on my own, and i want to cultivate that relationship.

I can’t stay on track when I pray, all these thoughts come rushing in and I forget the point. Maybe that is okay? I was raised in a church where praying was very proper and I just don’t know how to talk to God.

I can help other english speaking women to learn the islamic prayers (salat) in arabic if anyone needs that.

a priority in my life…

I can’t remember not knowing what prayer was, not being comfortable with the language and pattern and manner of prayer. What I was taught is simple, personal, infinitely adaptable: just address God as any friend, express gratitude, request help as needed, and close in the name of Christ. (Obviously, YMMV). No memorizing or searching for appropriate written prayers. Formality only in the use of the once-familiar pronouns of reverence and the preference for kneeling prayer. I was taught to pray aloud whenever I could, to pray in silence whenever I needed to. I heard my mother excuse herself quietly to God, in the middle of a prayer, in order to answer the needs of a small child, and then pick up again as she would with anyone she might talk to. I’ve had small prayers quickly answered, and have prayed larger prayers that weren’t answered as I hoped, but were answered in ways I couldn’t have expected and don’t regret.

What I work toward is to have prayer as my native air, reverence as my natural state of being. Some day…some day.

with this goal!

I’ve been refering to “A Book of Prayer” which is full of prayers for any situation, as well as my Devotional Bible (which has an index that points me to specific verses on specific topics).

Eventually I’ll be able to pray from within without any texts or reference materials….

For the time being I feel that my prayers are begining to mature and that prayer is becoming a part of my daily life…

Praying from the heart and all that you are are entirely different that reading a script.

it is feeling the prayer, it is giving it your all.

you pour out your soul.

I remember when i was little, when i would pray i would use all of the correct pronunciation and even go to the extent of apologizing for mis-speaking ( mind you all of this is in my head). I wanted so bad to make sure that God was real so that i would not waste my time believing in something that was fake. I know he is real, it is just a matter of talking to him. Of asking him to again purge me of my sin. I guess that the whole guilt factor comes from the fact that i am one of those repeat offenders and think myself unworthy of forgiveness. And therefore unworthy of the time and attention of my God.