stop self-injuring

I really don’t know the exact day with out looking at my calender. I guess that is a good thing. All i know is that i am living strong, and i am doing well.

It is getting a little easier, but i still have my days. Just not as often so it is easier to deal with them when they come. Sense they are not al day every day. 5 years ago

I had some wrist-banging episodes a little over a week ago, but otherwise it’s been probably well over a month. :) 5 years ago

In ‘97 I wound up in a psychiatric hospital for a suicide attempt. I was just a cutter until then. I was back in the hospital a year later for another attempt, but less serious than the first. It’s been at least seven years since I’ve cut. I believe (notice I say believe not know) that the key is self-awareness in an emotional sense. I’ve been in therapy from before the first hospital visit, and I think a lot of therapists don’t know what they are doing. It’s either that or they’ve never truly studied emotional abuse. A classical psychoanalyst (yup, that sitting on the couch type of therapy) found me and suggested I see him about 4 years ago. After the second year, I lost all desire to cut, even in stressful situations. I can only say it comes from understanding deeply what the boundaries are between my emotional being, my emotional baggage, and other’s emotional baggage. The first only exists in the present moment, the other two come from the past. The last I can sluff off or even fight off, if comes to that. My baggage I can respect even though it’s filled with pain and hurt, for it made me the sensitive emotional being I am right now. I’m not always clearly in the present, but I try hard to be aware of my emotional reality. These years of practice, I believe, keep me from abusing myself for the sake of the past or others. It’s really easy to sustain emotional abuse in our current social requirements (sometimes I think people expect it), but I felt free once I could draw the lines myself. Cheers to everyone who takes this road, it’s not easy or pretty, but it can be liberating. 5 years ago

I really can’t believe it but, i still get the impulses to cut a lot. I wish there was some way to make them go away,but sadly i m pretty sure there is not. There are day , and there are many when i am just like god i wish i could cut or something. Then i think of all the days i have gone without it and i would feel so ashamed if i broke my 103 days or soemthing.

But in some way it feels like jsut getting the impulses is breaking the day. It feel s so real in my head, and sometimes it jsut wont shut up. Grr i ate it.

None the less i am still living strong and have made it this far, and don’t plan on turning back, but i don’t like the word never it scares me. 5 years ago

Last year I quit, and felt comfortable with the fact that I would never self-injure again. Sometimes this felt impossible, but over time it really did start to get easier. The little goal I had for myself was to make it to a year SI-free. I made it to about 11 months – and then had a breakdown and felt that it was the only way to deal with my problems.

I’ve SIed a few times since then (not many, but some when I really needed it)... and I regret it so much. Last year at this time I was sure I would never harm myself again – how things get so reversed, I’ll never know. But I’m planning to stop again, as soon as I feel ready and comfortable again, I will stop. Hopefully for good this time. 6 years ago

i am at day 65!Abby like u i don’t think i will ever be able to say i have quit for good, just stoped for a while. I don’t want to do it again, and i am pretty sure i wont, but it has olny been 65 days you never know, but i am working on it. I have not been felling too good this week, i am applying to a boarding school, and it is a very stressful process,. my mom has been making me feel really bad lately. i know sahe doesn’t mean to she is stressed too, and works long hours to make sure i have everything i need, but still sometimes i wish she woulsd just leave me a lone, i am 14 not 34, u no. i like haveing a lot of responseability, and knowing that ppl can look to me when they need help but i can olny do so much. I don’t know i guess i will just have to suck it up and deal with it. Like i always do. ttyl ya’ll 6 years ago

It has been 42 days!! Everything i do is getting a little easier, and i owe it all to my friend. She has helped me so much, and i am soooooo lucky to have her. She is someone who is without a doubt going to heaven. After al she is already an angel.

I haope everyone has a great Christmas. I will try, i have a pretty big family, and our tridition, is fight with your family members. Sad but true. 10 adults, 22 kids. Fuhn fun fun!! 6 years ago

I have been throught a lot. My brother has sexualy abused me, and my parents are devorced. Try not to cut as long as i can, i went a whole 15 days last time, but now i am back to day 7.

I made a deal with my school councelor, that i would try not to cut. That i would do something else, like sit ups or snaping a bracelet on my arm. After day 15 when i cut again i talked to her days later. I am lucky to have her but there is olny so much she can do. I can’t find to much comfort in her because she is my councelor, not my mom.

For the first time in a long time when i cut(after day 15) i felt bad, the pain i was tring to get rid of was gone for a split second. But then after noticing what i had done i realized that i had let down the one person who believes in me, the perosn who always has faith in me even when i don’t have faith in myslef. Millions of thoughts started going through my head. She is going to be so disapointed in me. I let her down she is not going to want to help me anymore. I shuold have never done that it was stupid. Maybe i am not ment to be anything special, maybe this is my fait. And the pain i got rid of by cutting had come back.

It was very wiered but i learned that it was a way i was getting better, i think!! But still in a way i wish i had never told anyone, never gave my blade to my councelor. It is so hard to handle sometimes, and i just want to cut myslef to get rid of the stress. and the pain, and thoughts of what is going to happen next. Cutting for me is a security thing. I have no one i can lean one 24-7 and i want that but i no i will never have it. So when i feel badly or things start going haywire as they often do cutting lets me get away from all that, just for a split second, and a second is better than all pain all the time. 6 years ago