figure out what I really want to do

but when I look at my pay slip I am shocked. I’m only paid by the hours that I teach, and I put far more time into it than that. I work for very little money.

On the plus side, I get the holidays off to be with Stan and Flo. This is very very good. And I can also do my course – though not always or enough. There’s no easy life. I dread working in a bitchy office and always being the odd one out – which is my experience of office work.

Perhaps I put so much into it earlier this year that I have just exhausted my teacher-qualities.

and she seemed to think I could do whatever I want to do, at any time, which is a complete joke when you think about it. But she did say she was in her late thirties when she decided to become a psychotherapist. So what she was saying was: keep going; don’t be distracted, and you’ll be able to do what you want to do as long as you’re focused.

This is very difficult because of course, she has money and I don’t have money, and the practicalities of life are always telling me to stop studying and get a full-time job instead. But then I shall be so frustrated!! Because I want to learn.

She pointed out that there is a flaw in my marriage but I have learned to live with this. You have to get through the difficult times together by not saying too much about them. As my mum says, you mustn’t pick holes in things.