be a good mom

that being a good mom has a lot to do with your intuition, and that it takes guts to listen to it and not to everybody else.

Without planning it, I have developed a style of mothering very much like the so called “attachment parenting”. Since I found out I was pregnant I decided to breastfeed on demand exclusively for the first few months, and to have the baby sleep in our room in his own bassinnet at least until he was 4 months old.

Reading on my own I realized that those are “attachment parenting” practices, and I’ve been adopting a few more of them, for example, sharing the bed. It wasn’t really an experiment; somehow I just discovered we all could sleep better if baby slept right by my side and have my breasts very near… He seldom sleeps in his bassinnet anymore. I also “wear” him from time to time in the house, although I still haven’t done it outside, though I also plan to do that.

I’ve heard the horrible advice of “letting the baby cry it out” a few times now (coincidentally from non-mothers) or comments implying that I should (from working mothers and grannies). Being the curious person that I am, I tried it once… and I promptly found out that it’s not in me to do that. It goes against my grain, and as Dorothy Boyd said to Jerry Maguire, “I’m not built that way”... I told my husband a couple of days later about what I did, that “it’s not in me” to let my baby cry his eyes out when I have the power to comfort him. He just looked at me with a little smile and these eyes that said “I completely understand”...

But of course, the grannies and especially the working mothers look at me with a mixture of sadness and disapproval every time they see me pick up my crying child… What I’ve learned about working mothers is (as they have told me themselves) that they wish they had had the opportunity to have stayed at home with their kid(s) until they were old enough to go to school (around four or five years of age). According to child psychologists and educators that’s the time when the character of a child forms, and that you want to be the main model for his behavior and not some hired hand. Coincidence?

I will be working on this for the rest of my life! What a commitment!
Lord, Help me do the best that I can, and keep me sane.

In just a week I have been able to establish breastfeeding with my newborn son. I feel very blessed and fortunate!

... but one day I hope to be as phenomenal of a mother as mine has been for me. She has supported me, given me the best of everything she had to offer: the best hugs, the best stories, the best recipes, the best shopping sense, and now I want to give something back to her. I have made an entry about her for mothers day. I really want to win this competition for her!!! The contest relies on votes; one per computer per day, so this task is really difficult for me to achieve (I am in college.)However, 43 things has been such a supportive community and I hope you will help me out with this!
View my entry and vote for my amazing mom! (this is not limited to you all either… tell your friends if you feel particularly inspired!
http://www.tinyurl.com/xyzyxyzyx

Being a good parent is a big challenge and raising my now five year old son certainly has had its ups and downs. I have just realised the pernicious effects of too much media and have banned all TV, movies, video games, and anything bakuhan/pokemon related from the house.
Let’s see if this have the positive effect I’m hoping for.

their my love and my life

My oldest son which is now 9 1/2 years old lives with his father some 8 hours away. I haven’t seen him since July ‘08 and Won’t see him again till July of this year! I miss him dearly. I talk to him at least once or twice a week though and I let him know how much I love him and his brothers does too! Its really hard to be a “GOOD MOM” from a long distance away. I hope he knows I love him though.

The other 2 boys have improved some-what I don’t know if its their age or how I handle them. I do not act though when I am mad I cool off before I confront their problems. and I spend quality time with them reading books, playing games, helping with homework even if mommy doesn’t feel well. ;)

Christmas was good this year a lil bitter sweet though without my oldest around. Things are starting to get better though.

Today I realized I was a good mom when my two kids-17 and 14-told me that they know they are lucky to have me! They said that none of their friends had a mom that cared abt their kids they way I care about mine! They said its great that I do not compare them to each other but except them for the individuals they are!! It was a GREAT feeling!!!

My son is three today.
This life goal should be easy to achieve.

Although I don’t think this is true. I am trying. My patience is growing stronger and my mental capacity for understanding some other human with out a filter for emotions or vocalazition is getting better.

just love.

i realize this is an ongoing goal that i will probably never be able to point to and say, ‘yeah, okay; i’ve got this being a good mom thing down!’ but this weekend was a good start, for sure.

being a single mom with infant twins can be tough, but i’m deciding that the trick is to be fully in the moment with them when i am around them. they are my focus, and i’m not letting myself get distracted by cleaning up things when it’s time for me to be with them.

there’s a time for everything, and i don’t want my kids to remember me as a mom who had a really neat kitchen and no chocolate chip cookies, you know? not that neat kitchens are bad…. i’m working on keeping a more clean house.

i guess i’m learning to celebrate my children in every moment. and that, i think, is a good thing.