move back to Florida

I don’t know what I want to write here. It’s difficult to describe how happy I am and how much better I feel. It’s only been three weeks, but Dallas feels like a strange, painful dream. Place does matter. A feeling of belonging to one’s environment matters. There are so many things every day that effect how we feel, it’s important to be in a place that nourishes and comforts us. I think I finally learned my lesson on this one. I probably won’t live in Florida forever, but I will always make the effort to live in a place that I love.

So yesterday I decided to reserve my truck, but the price went up! Thought about moving on a later date, but that didn’t make sense so I looked into earlier dates, and the best deal was to leave sooner rather than later. I am now thinking about leaving on the 28th (full moon) instead of the 2nd. Basically, I’m just taking it one day at a time and seeing how it all works out. I did reserve the truck for the 27th, but I can change the date without changing the rate. I’m excited, hopeful, anxious and nervous. I’m more trepidatious about moving to the known than I was moving into the unknown.

The plan is…Sept 2, day before Labor Day, I only realized that later, but hopefully if all goes well, it will be me and my dog in a penske truck barreling the hell out of Texas!!

Again it was suggested to me that I tow my car. I had thought about this and thought it would be too expsensive, another look at the truck rental site showed that it would cost $100 for a tow dolly or $195 for a car carrier. I’m starting to think that the whole drive, fly, drive, thing will be a big pain in my ass, so now it’s truck and car carrier. I still want to move the first week of September, it’s all a matter of things coming together, mostlly $$ but isn’t that usually the way of things? I get excited when I think of leaving, it’s the only thing that lifts my spirits during these rainy days in Texas.

I sent my friend a text and she had already got the number for me. The thing is, do I really want to live where I used to live? It is a nice fantasy and I know it will work out only if it’s the right thing for me, but it’s got me thinking about how I would really feel living in the same place? Would I be able to make a clean, fresh start, or would I wallow in what used to be? It’s a matter of attitude I guess. If I’m really honest with myself I think I’m afraid that it can’t be THAT EASY, just move back into my old place that I know and loved so well. I just realized that that apartment was my FIRST place on my own, my first home. I had roommates, I had been married, lived with a fiance, and it was the first place that was mine all MINE. So all this time when I’ve been telling myself that I want to go home (meaning Florida) could it also really be my first home?

Spoke to one of my best friends. She lives in FLA and while she was house hunting she came across my old apartment for rent! She said that it’s been re-done inside and out. I loved that apartment!!! Have been having fantasies all day about getting it again. Is fate really that delicious and strange that I could come full circle and end up living in my old place? I think I will email her and see if it’s still for rent-get the number etc.

One of the things that has been making me crazy ever since I realized that I desperately want to move back to Florida is how I am going to get me, my stuff, and my new car there. I moved here with everything in my Oldsmobile and when it died I bought a new car (new to me anyway). I’ve since semi-furnished an apartment and don’t want to have to start all over again. I have packed my “life” into less than ten medium sized boxes and took off on more than one occasion, I don’t want to do that again. There have been a lot of moving trucks in my neighborhood recently. I’ve taken that as a sign that I’m making the right decision, but they’ve all been U-hauls and U-haul is notorious for screwing moving up, at least in my experience, and the experience of the people that started the anti-Uhaul website. A couple of days ago I saw a Penske truck, checked out their website and the price seems pretty good, something I can afford in a few months. If all goes well with them I will report my experience and a link to their site. I know things about moving, I’ve moved ALOT, the only person I know that has moved more than me is my best friend who was a “Army Brat.” I want this move to be different though, I don’t want to feel pressured or stressed, like I have to decided what to keep and what to throw/give away because there just isn’t enough room or time to sort it all out. The plan I have so far is rent truck here in TX, drive with stuff to FLA, put in storage, fly back to TX and drive my car to FLA. I found a one-way flight from FLA to TX for $100 around to time I want to move. Considering trailer for car, but I’ve done that before, costs too much, would need a bigger truck, and is a pain in the ass when driving more than a few hundred miles. Still I’m open to the possibility.

I was born and raised in Florida, in a small town on the east coast, and from the moment I could speak I wanted to leave. I wanted to experience things and life outside my small town. I am a rare breed, a native Floridian, not only that, but my mom was born and raised in Florida as well as all four of my grandparents. I’ve traveled a lot, learned a lot, and now realize that the source of so much of the “me-ness” that I value is rooted in my Florida upbringing. I now live Dallas, TX (why I still don’t know), and want to transfer my semi-stable life back to one of the three places on earth that I love with all my heart. I feel fortunate that it only took me thirty-five years to figure out what the word “home” really means.

I grew up in Kentucky and right after High School I moved to Florida. After living in Orlando for 15 years my husband took a job in North Carolina. I protested the move but he still insisted on it. We have been in NC 4 years now and I still long to return to Florida. Life is too short to live some where you do not like. I hope to return soon.

Why the F* did I ever move back to Illinois??? Florida is perfect and beautiful. You’re never at a loss for something to do. We WILL move back!!!