laugh out loud

I’m tired of people telling me how tired I look. I do look tired, but I’m growing a baby and teaching full-time what do you expect?... I am tired.

I told Hubby about this and he said I should say, “I may look tired but my chest looks fabulous!” and then show them! That might shut their yap-holes.

He said he won’t comment on a woman’s pregnancy unless and until he sees a baby actually emerging from her body! Guess he’s gotten it wrong a time or two when he’s congratulated someone on their “pregnancy!”

Another teacher at my school who I don’t know well came up and said, “I heard some news about you…” I said, “What, are people gossiping about me?” She said, ””No, I heard you were…”

I acted clueless and said, ”...that I was WHAT?” She said, “pregnant,” and I acted horrified… “I HAVE gained a little weight. Do you think I look pregnant? Is that what people are saying!”

I let her off the hook pretty quickly, but it cracked me up to watch her stammer and apologize. She didn’t seem to think it was as funny as I did. hmmmmm.

This older teacher whose name I don’t even know congratulated me on my pregnancy. She said, “Don’t you have a grandchild?” I told her I have two grandsons.

She said, “What got into you?”

Moment of silence.

I cracked up and just said, “well…..”

Being pregnant is not for the faint-hearted. One of many complications is you can’t move your bowels for days and days at a time. Well this can cause swelling and bloating of the abdomen. Along with other factors your stomach can start sticking out really early.

Here’s the funny part. When “a work acquaintance,” not a friend, mind you – came up, put her hands on my stomach and told me I was showing at nine weeks I said, “That’s not the baby. It’s crap! I haven’t GONE in a week! Oh! Did I just over-share? You were acting like my intimate business pertained to you and I guess I just forgot that it didn’t!”

Oh! The indignity! Being pregnant makes you cranky and outspoken, too, it seems!

I love the little statue so much that it strikes me as funny. I’m not the garden statue type person. The only reason I have him is because I bought him years ago as a GAG GIFT for someone.

However, I got totally attached to his goofy face as he stood by my computer waiting for the gift-giving occasion to arrive.

Now he sits on my porch and makes me smile every day. I LOL sometimes when I tell people about him. He’s pretty Dorky.

my sister and I laughed so much and so hard that it’s a wonder I didn’t wreck the car, but I can’t think of a single “funny” incident that happened while she was visiting! I think they were all “Ya’ had to be there!” moments. We got lost a lot and it seemed really funny THEN, but I can’t really see why now, looking back!

I choose laugh!

Grandson was in his high chair and Golden Doodle Dog was loose in the house; GD Dog kept barking and scaring grandson. So I put the baby spoon in the jar of carrots, left it on the table (which Grandson was scooted AWAY from) and scooped up G. D. to put him in his make-shift crate (about 9 steps away, but around two corners, if that makes sense).

2 seconds later, returning to the eat-in kitchen, as I was at the threshhold between there and the living room, I heard the babyfood jar hit the floor, and I got splattered with carrots as they sprayed up and out like a fountain!

It went EVERYWHERE! On the computer monitor, on the keyboard, on the computer chair, on walls (4 different ones, as a half wall and corner were involved), on my desk, on the two golden retrievers, on the tile floor, and on the the sofa (a good 12 or so feet away!), omigosh!

Luckily my own body blocked most of it from getting onto my just-cleaned carpet. One little dot of orange on the carpet was all – whew!

Well, I had to finish feeding the hungry baby before I could do any cleaning up. So I did that and admired the orange splatter everywhere, while my two good dogs cleaned the carrots off the floor for me (they’re helpful). I just kept laughing the whole time!

I was spending time cuddling my 13-year-old golden retriever in my bed this morning. I would stop petting her and say “WHO… is a good girl?” in a voice like I really didn’t know. She would whip her head around and look at me with bug-eyed indignation, like, “Yo! Right here! Make with the praise and cuddles!” It made me laugh out loud.