open up more

I am a very private person when it comes to my emotions. It’s hard for me to even talk to or open up to anyone, even my family. Those who I do talk to and are open with are only a few select friends I have online, and sometimes it’s hard to even talk to them about anything that’s bothering me.

I really need to open up more, and I need to find someone who I can talk to about things when I’m down for example, someone who also doesn’t mind hearing about such things, I’d even offer it in return! It probably would not be family though unfortunately.

I tell my friends just enough for them to think that I tell them everything. If they knew my secret everything would be different, but I would finally be free of it. It is noble or stupid to keep a secret in for the sake of my friends? I don’t want to pass on my burden to those that won’t understand it. I dont want them to see me as a victim.

Today, barely any time after I first posted this. I did it. I actually opened up to someone that has always been there, just not someone I actually opened up to. And it opened my eyes to all the other people around me that would do the same. You don’t realize what you have until… It’s show to you? XD

It’s just such a wonderful feeling, when you realize that. Well. There are others there, and you can trust them and they trust you and will help you along when things are down too…. Don’t be scared of being hurt when you open up. It really helps when you do, and once you open up to just one person that you never have before… It makes all the difference. And… That makes all the difference, and I know I said that twice… And, I hope other people here can experience this. =DD

I’m the person that lsiten and helps you, the person that helps push you through your problems while never revealing much about himself. Even the things that do come out are amazingly small. Not one of my real-life friends knows my parents are divorced for one.

There are perhaps a few people who I do let in, and even then, it’s a struggle for them to get me to talk. That’s bullshit. If they want to help I need to let them. You can only be helped as much as you want to, and I never did want to. I just pushed them back the more they wanted to help, and now I understand how that felt, because everytime I try something, it blows up in my face and gets shoved farther away from my grasp… So far I can barely even see it anymore…

I’m going to start talking more, letting people know when I’m upset, or happy, instead of just keeping that damned fake smile up all the time. The walls are coming down, one by one. And only I can do that, nobody else. So I’m going to, and I’m going to fill those walls full of everything that they once held out.

No idea how I did it…Just did :D

I’m always listening to other peoples problems, and their secrets, and helping them out. But I seem pretty reluctant to tell anyone anything personal about me, even my best friend knows only one of my minor secrets :s I’m a weird kid..

it seems like when i reach out and get rejected, i just push it all in moreso than before.

not really my strong part so im just gona give up

show more emotions and not jsut hold things in