Overcome my fear of driving

I got my temps at the usual time, right after I turned 15 and a half.

I got my license when I was 17 and a half, after renewing my temps three times and absolutely dreading the experience of incars. My parents were under the impression that incars were supposed to teach you how to drive but the opposite was true, incars EXPECTED you to be able to drive. My incar instructor had me back out of the driveway and pull out onto my busy street when I’d told him I’d only ever driven in a parking lot.

I took a required 24 hours of driving instruction. The instruction itself was good but I had a difficult time applying it when on the road. I understood all the rules of traffic in class, but on the road I was unable to identify the patterns I had so easily recognized on diagrams.

Right after I got my license my mother sent me on a run to the store to get some groceries, just 10 some minutes away. On the way back I was at a red light, in the right hand turn lane. I thought I could turn right on red, because I had never realized that the side opposite had a left turn arrow, and nearly got hit by a van. I had already felt like my driving was horribly inadequate and like I simply, despite being an ‘AP student with a 4.0GPA’, couldn’t grasp skills I felt should be simple and easy—things like basic traffic laws and observational patterns.

When driving I felt entirely out of control. I would look around me and think that I had a clear picture of the situation, only to find it time and time again false.

This incident simply solidified that idea and upon arriving home I told my mother it went well but avoided driving for the next few days. For a period of about 9 months I tried to force myself to drive.

I would drive the short distance to school and to friends houses but never with anyone else in the car. I could drive at night, when the roads were empty, and early in the morning on the weekends, but perpetually avoided driving during the weekends and to anywhere I expected to be crowded. At school I would regularly wait 20 minutes after dismissal before going home to avoid any parking lot congestion. If going somewhere I wasn’t familiar with I’d make up excuses to tell my friends for the reason that I needed a ride. Usually things like, “My dad needs the car, can you drive me?”Rather then drive the 20 minutes to the shopping center, I would drive the 2 minutes to the bus stop and take the bus.

Finally, in May, I moved out of my parents house into an apartment owned by the company that I had my summer job with. I had no car, and no need to drive. I rode my bike into work and completely abandoned the idea of driving, at least for the summer. Things were complicated when one of my friends there asked me if I would go with her to pick up a friend who was drunk at a bar. She wanted me to ride there in her car and then drive our friend’s car back to the apartment. I stumbled over “not being able to see at night” and other mubblings before someone else offered to do it.

I am now a college freshmen. I am going home over Thanksgiving and I need to go to the doctor’s office for routine follow ups which my mother is going to drive me. I hate it. I am simultaneously disgusted at my reliance on other people, terrified of driving, and embarrassed to ask my parents to teach me (again) to drive.

damnit! I am nearly 19 and I should be able to do this junk!

and I still haven’t gotten my license, or permit actually. I’ve read the books a couple of times, I’ve gotten the random motivation spurts here and there, but never have acted on them. Why? Because I’m afraid to drive. I had a bad experience behind the wheel when I was 14 – my father wanted me to get some experience by simply driving up the driveway. That said, I didn’t realize how sensitive the gas pedal was…I did my best to just barely press down, but the car shot forward and I nearly crashed into the side wall of the house and the fence.

Since that day, I’ve been afraid to drive. The only scary part for me? The gas pedal. I can picture myself driving well enough…I’m just too nervous, thanks to the past, to put my foot anywhere near that damn pedal.

My first credit goes to God for using my job to help me. As a caseworker, I’m required to drive to so many different places and find places that I’ve never been before. Because I’m forced to drive, I got better at it. I’m not perfect and I still make a lot of mistakes. I hope to get better over time.

Hi Rain -

I know exactly what youre saying. Negative driving experiences are very traumatic. It only takes one experience to lock in fear for a lifetime. Im so glad you got your license. The mind is so powerful. You don’t tell yourself, “Well, that was just one experience, it’ll be better next time”. I was so embarrassed standing at bus stops here in Los Angeles, I would hide behind trees so people i’d lied to wouldnt see me. It was shameful. But my lies became the truth. Im driving now with no fear and I love it. I pray before I drive and It really helps. This experience taught me that there are so many more things that I can do when I put the fear aside.

I wasn’t afraid of learning to drive at 16 but a series of incidents at that time made me very afraid to the point of having a phobia behind the wheel. While on a lesson, a relative teaching me to drive almost ran someone down. During lessons with a “formal” instructor, I found the experience daunting because I basically received no instruction until he slammed on the emergency brake and then I had to tell him what I did wrong. My final driving lesson involved a police officer who actually held up traffic for 5 minutes telling me I had no right to be on the road because I was holding up traffic (I hesitated 1 min max (!) for a delivery truck. I finally received my license at the age of 41. I almost gave up for good after my second road test. The examiner was hostile to the point of verbal violence while I was taking the road test. It seems like a series of unfortunate conditioning incidents that has caused me to approach driving behind the wheel with such trepidation! Then I have so-called wellmeaning relatives and friends who have nothing better than to remind me it’s not normal not to drive, but I think it makes them feel better. Whatever. I have no problem as a passenger, strangely enough.

Hey Yukki -

If you are a female, I apologize. I thought you were a male from your avatar. Please forgive me.

BTW, my sister Stephanie encouraged me to take extra driving lessons. I love you Steph and thanks.

Hello to all -

I made the decision to pay for more driving hours with a driving school. I paid $420.00 for 10 hours of driving lessons last week. If you are female, I suggest getting a female instructor. Male instructors are too agressive with females. My instructor made me feel so comfortable and driving became so easy. So I totally understand why “Yuuki” is afraid. His instructors and his own father yelled at him. That’s scary, especially when youre driving. So that fear stayed with him.

I now have my confidence back. On my first lesson, my instructor felt that I could handle the car so we took the highway. It felt so good to me.

I rented a car today (a Kia Rondo mini s.u.v.) and drove to my local Target store and then came home and parallel parked. Early tomorrow morning, im gonna get out there and drive. I especially want to drive down all of the tricky streets in my area. I finally overcame my fear. I love it. The fear is so totally mental. It seems so real but the fear is false. I told myself that I didnt want waste $420.00 so I have to keep driving. I strongly suggest paying for extra driving lessons so you will feel comfortable driving on the road. Listen, may God bless you all and may you all be encouraged and inspired to get extra driving lessons and conquer your fears. I think for people like myself who have a tendency of over-thinking things, make so much more out of this than necessary. I tend to over-think and over-analyze everything. I promise you, it will be so comfortable once you get going. Right now, im driving in the slow lanes, taking my time. Im not caring or letting anyone intimidate me on the road. They can beep and curse, and give me the middle finger all they want. Im concerned about drivng safely and getting to my destinations safely. You will feel the same once you get started. Again, May God bless you all and I cant wait to read your testimonies. You will do it.

My reason for this is probably a lot more tamer than some people who have gone through tragic experiences. I’m scared because my dad and my instructors have yelled at me, or I just panic behind the wheel. I want to get it over with. I want to overcome that fear. I want to easily say to my dad, “Let’s go driving” just so I can gain experience but inside my body I am scared out of my mind.

I renewed my permit today, and it’s the first time. I am 19 years old and I haven’t driven in 2 years. I feel that I’ve lost all that I know. I’m scared of making mistakes and I know they’re totally normal and everyone’s human but I want to get my license badly, too. I want that freedom to be happy and to go off on my own without having a fear of my past.

I can’t believe I’m scared of something that I will like. I imagine myself in the car all the time and driving to places I want to go, but it’s hard to believe I could ever have that.

I’m 25 and live in Los Angeles – if I can learn to drive here I can drive anywhere, right?

I wasn’t really interested in taking driver’s training until I was 17, and then I took it right after my senior year in high school, passed, logged a few hours on the road, but unfortunately failed my driver’s test. After that I kept going back for my permit every year after it expired – I probably hold some kind of record, having had 5 or 6 driver’s permits, but never going to take the test to get my license! Basically terror takes a hold of me every time I even think about driving, especially in this city, and I will use any excuse I possibly can to get out of it.

It’s really something that’s been holding me back from many things I want to do in my life, so I have to conquer this thing soon – I’m just not sure how. Everyone thinks this fear is crazy!