get my confidence back

I thought I had it. I’m sure I had it. I coulda sworn I had it. And now…I can’t find it anywhere. I wonder all the time, where did it go? More importantly, when did I lose it?? How do I get it back? Everyone else around me seems to have it in excess and I just feel lost. How do you tell people that you don’t have confidence without them giving silly quips like, “all you have to do is believe in yourself” or “Stay strong, everything will be okay” or “that’s silly, you shouldn’t feel like that”. All I ask – how did you gain self-confidence?

This is another thing I’ve been working on since birth. LOL. Ok to be serious, I need to be confident. I need confidence, confidence in myself, confidence in my ability. Its an essential part of my life, which I really want to get back.

I considered myself a very strong person, but loosing my business of 13 years, my beautiful home, splitting the family up by leaving my wife, a messy divorce, loosing my pride and joy of a car, eldest daughter going off the tracks, going bankrupt, having both parents fall ill (father sadly died), then meeting someone who you think will help pull you back up only for them to get ill and be very very hard work both physically and mentally is crippling.

Just want my confidence back, need that before i can achieve any of my other goals!

because i am so awesome.

This has been an ongoing project of mine since childhood. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Everyone in the world has this problem, to some degree, whether they realize it, are working on it, or act the complete opposite or not. It’s true.

2. NOBODY IS PERFECT. I have to periodically remind myself of this. Just because I’m not perfect, does not mean that I have not earned the “right” to be confident.

3. EVERYONE deserves to feel confident. There is no right to earn. It is a right, period.

4. Confidence comes from setting goals, achieving them, and recognizing your success. It comes from beliefs, which are best when supported by actual events that produced real, solid sensations and emotions that you can then recall and use to foster and support your beliefs about your own confidence and skill level, which then helps you set goals and achieve them. It’s a nice, neat little cycle. And it works like that.

5. If all else fails, fake it. It becomes real after awhile. And until it does, it has the exact same effect.

6. It’s crucial. NOBODY wants to hire you, date you, have anything to do with you on a long-term or in-depth basis if you don’t have some degree of confidence.

7. Confidence does NOT mean selfishness, egoism, or bluster. You can be a nice person and a confident one at the same time.