Post random thoughts, observations, and events of the day...

I am uploading oodles of photos to Flickr because I don’t have enough space on my memory and need to delete so I can get more photos here in Flagstaff. The only way to do that is to upload nearly everything to Flickr (and some to Walgreens, where I get my photos developed!)

SO! My subscibers will see oodles of pics – - please be patient!!

Many thanks!!!

About a hour ago I got an email from Simon (hope he doesn’t mind that I am sharing with you all).

Hey Julie!
I have a shitload of cheers, and no time to find good homes for them. So, guess what? I’m gonna give them to you, then, instead of working, you get to give them to other people.

To me that sounds like a challenge, figuring it was only going to be a few cheers… it ended up with like 35(ish) cheers. I was godsmacked at the amount of cheers he bestowed me. I felt like a cheer ambassador of sorts. Damn what am I going to do with all these damn cheers AND that he knows me all to well that I would rather be cheering than working!! :P

Well I am here to say I did it! No more cheers left. I visited the cheer bomb the newbies that a few of my subs were on and then sprinkled the rest on my subs.

_{Phew, I am a bit tired… need to go home for a nap}

Yesterday I went to see a performance A Midsummer Night’s Dream that was just amazing! A long time ago, I had tried to familiarize myself with all of Shakespeare’s plays, but never could get through the ones I wasn’t forced through in high school. How embarrassingly unsophisticated I felt! But these performers actually managed to pull off something extraordinary – and I realized that a lot of performances of Shakespeare’s plays are stuffy, as if the actors are afraid to put themselves into it. Is this because of the language? Or a fear of toying with something so classic?

Anyway, this performance was really wonderful, and the guy that played Puck! Oh, he was perfect!

A nice day with friends was followed by a pleasant day of rest with my very most beloved person in the world, my D. It felt quite healing.

James W. – How did you manage to get hired by such a big company as Republic due to your incarceration and heavy drug use?!! (what about that slip up a couple of years ago? once a user….) It amazes me how they didn’t even bother to check your references! They must have been REALLY desperate to fill the position!

Here’s why 2008 has been the worst year of my life so far (I’m 13):

1. Last school year there was this guy in my class named Jordan (who also rode the same bus as me) who kept saying to me, “You like Jordan.” But I didn’t. I actually hated him. I kept thinking, he must really like me. So I sat with him on the bus to make him happy. Soon, we were going out. We went out for a month. I didn’t really like him at all. So I broke up with him. And that’s when he became this big bully. He didn’t upset me, only annoy me. So, yeah. That’s one reason I hate 2008. I kept getting bullied in school.

2. I’m on this anti-psychotic medicine which makes me lose my appetite. I’m never hungry. I’m 5’5” and now weigh 107 pounds. It sucks. I hope I don’t lose any more.

3. I never exercise. I’m like really self-conscious. Really, really self-conscious. I am not sure how I’m gonna start exercising. I’m sure it would make me feel loads better. Sigh.

4. I live in the messiest house on the planet. We have 10 times the amount of stuff a regular household would have. We never get rid of anything. My mom is so lazy. I’m lazy too. But I try. None of the stuff in the house is really mine. Most of it is my sister’s or my dad’s. Mom and I don’t hoard things like they do. We’ll figure out something.

5. Usually every year I go to this camp in Vermont. But Mom said, “It cost too much.” Or whatever. If I went to that camp at least things would be just a little bit better. Oh well. I’m going next year. I can’t skip going to that camp twice.

6. I go to this retarded private school where they are too poor to teach you anything. The rules are unjust. You get in trouble for the stupidest things. They have this retarded level system which I will talk about later.

So yeah. That’s why the year 2008 sucks for me. You know what else? My whole family is always making fun of the way I talk. They are all copying me and everything. They are all rude to me. I tell them I need someone to make me feel better and they don’t even try. Oh well.

Nothing interesting has happened this summer. We went to the Strawberry Festival right before school ended but that doesn’t really count. It wasn’t summer vacation yet. Boohoo.

If you care, feel free to comment.

I was talking with Herbgoddess this morning and she has two kids that are going into the 7th grade. She just received the supply list for their school supplies. As she was reading me the list she mentioned that the infamous “trapper keeper” is now no longer used in class due to practical health and safety purposes. The trapper keeper may be brought into the school and stored in their locker, but not brought into class. I asked why… she had said something that it might be about a bomb threat at the school last year. So WTF, are they using trapper keepers for bomb containers? If they are, wouldn’t you want to keep them completely out of the school? The lockers are located in the hallway. Wouldn’t the kids need to use the hallway to leave the school in case of a bomb threat? I dunno…

I have felt rather flat-affecty and numb for the last couple days. I had a great time hanging out at Barnes and Noble yesterday – - read lots of great poetry, drank coffee, listened to foreign languages floating all about me – - but just feeling kinda in a weird, prickly mood other than that.

I get in these spaces now and then where I don’t want to be touched, don’t want people to get too close to me, don’t want to go anyplace, kind of want to be a hermit for a while.

Last night I got the word “depleted”... which would definitely lead to feeling this way.

I feel energetically depleted, like a deflated children’s ball. I don’t have my bounce or my quick responsiveness, I mostly just want to sit on the ground, motionless… and perhaps if I am so blessed, someone will come along and help breathe some air back into me so I can get my bounce, my quick responsiveness, my ability to play back again sooner rather than later.

:-)

Who knows, that someone might even be me.

Everybody has gone home… I am so relieved.

Yes, I love my family. But they drive me completely insane. This is normal, yes?

I’m so freaked out tonight; full of mixed emotions. I miss the people who were driving me up the wall… but I also haven’t come down from the wall yet.

Something reminded me of my mom today, and I had to compose myself because I was among friends. It was hard… it’s always hard. What if people really did just turn into spirits when they died, but just kept staying here and hanging out with the rest of us, so we didn’t have to miss them? I guess they each have something much better to do.

my sister is significantly stronger than me. This puts down all my theories that maybe I’m kind of strong for a girl. I’m still a pretty fast runner though.

My sisters, obviously, have been visiting. A great deal of this visit has been drama and fighting; waiting and impatience. A bit of it has been talking and fun. Like most people, I love my sisters one on one, but don’t deal very well with them in a group.

Yesterday we visited with a friend who’s girlfriend has horses and ponies, and we got to take them out for some rides. We went back to his house where some more friends came over for dinner and cocktails. It’s a big city, and he’s on the other side of it from me, so we all crashed there for the night.

I didn’t see D again until tonight, and although it is healthy for us to have space from eachother, I’m not used to it, and I missed him. I don’t know if it’s funny or weird or what that I miss him when I stay one night at a friend’s house, but somehow I’m glad I do.

thank you, wren!