have a wardrobe full of clothes I actually love and that fit

Waas very stressed on Thursday (see entry re industrial dispute) so instead of falling home and on to the couch with a take away, I went shopping….Debenhams had a 20 % sale, and my mam gets a further 10 % off with her store card, so I am the proud owner of two lovely casual shirts, one dressy jersey top, and some charcoal grey cords. I love them all :-) I feel rather giddy with the possession of them….have to make sure to wear them now, not keep them hanging up and ‘precious’. Can’t spend a penny for the rest of the month not already budgetted for, but worth it!!

Dunno why I put this on here really, I can’t afford anything now or in the near future. Not even cheap rubbish or charity shop stuff. I currently have one pair of trousers that fit and another pair that are so tight I hate having to wear them. They look awful too cos my stomach bulges dramatically both above and below my belt. Mmmmmm I feel sexy… NOT!

Actually, I’m a liar. I’ve just remembered I have those trousers I bought for wearing to my imaginary job. Hmm. I wonder if I have any tops to go with them. Thing is, they are so not me. Or at least, they’re not the me I used to be. I’m not sure who me is anymore. Where did I go???? More coffee…

I am giving clothes that don’t fit to charity and other things including accessories.

Such a strange thing to get excited about, but I bought two thermal vests today…. :-) Need them for archery, the hall where we shoot is like a fridge, but these are just so perfect…really thin so no added bulk, beautiful slate blue colour, and ribbed with no fancy lace bits so they can be worn like a tee…. 10% wool and they feel like silk. They cost 25 euro each, which is a crazy extravagance on my budget, but I love, love, love them!!

Ok, a little background? I’ve been trying to pay off debt for the last couple of years and living on a shoestring to do it, so clothing has kind of taken a backseat. Since my husband and I got married, things have relaxed a little bit and I’m now able to start buying a few new clothes here and there. Hooray!

During that time, I completely lost any sense of style (I didn’t really have much to begin with, honestly) and just wore what worked. So last weekend, I went through all of my clothes and got rid of as many that were beat up, stained, torn, or just didn’t look right as I could. I had to keep a few things, because I can’t just go buy all new clothes. It’ll have to be spread out over time. But it was a start.

Yesterday I found a cute long sweater and legging and some ballet flats. The whole thing looks surprisingly cute on me!

Starting small, I have gone through my socks and underwear, and thrown out anything obviously tatty, or that I would be embarassed if any one else saw…...why oh why do I hang on to bally socks that have shrunk to a size appropriate for a small child…..and in the mornings, why do I reach for those socks rather than the ‘good’ ones? I threw them out. With the little voice in my head whispering that I should hold on to them, because they are useful for stuffing cushions, or wiping tiles, or 100 other things that will never happen :-)

Having been overweight for so long, and of course staying in a marriage I wasn’t happy in, getting divorced etc, I have tended to punish myself, or hide myself away, in dowdy, unattractive clothes. It’s a frivilous thing, of course. I am not what I wear. But if I present myself to the world a certain way, that’s how most people will see me. That’s how I am telling the world I want to be seen. So, with very little money and an awkward body shape, I hereby commit myself to building up a wonderful wardrobe of clothes that make me feel happy, reflect my personality, and match every aspect of my life.

Even work clothes. I still tend to buy clothes I hate for work.

it will take some time but i am moving and maybe that will be the perfect reason to get rid of some old clothes. How sweet would it be to open your wardrobe and love everything in there?

I’ve realised this ties in with my decluttering goal.

Two pairs of shoes have gone yay, it’s not quite getting everything out of the cupboard though, but a start!

I’ve decided to tackle it another way…things that I DO wear and LOVE, I’ll put back into the wardrobe at one end and then I can see exactly what I’m not wearing. That sounds a lot easier :-)

Without being materialistic and too self indulgent, I’d love to have a good clear out of my wardrobe and drawers. Why? Because they feel stagnant, some things don’t fit, some look shabby, some just aren’t me anymore. But…they could look fab on someone else, so

1) I’ll start by emptying my wardrobe, yes, the whole lot, gulp. Then I can really see what I have.

2) I’ll try everything on and be really honest with myself. Is this how I want to look, how I want others to see me?

3) Make 3 piles…definitely keep, charity/donation, need altering/advice from a friend or something to go with them

4) Start thinking how I would like to look and work towards it.

I want to achieve this by the end July.