raise a confident daughter

So I’m a bit of a proud dad. Humbly though, I think genetics has more to do with it than any parenting. All I have to do is make sure there aren’t any extreme mistakes. This kid will follow her heart. Thats all I can ask.

It seems this will come to pass regardless of what I do. More like destiny than a molded transformation where now all I have to do is let her become herself. This young woman impresses me routinely with her insight, self-awareness and ability to cope with change. I don’t know where she finds this. Her teacher is impressed as well. More than ever, for my own head, I think I need to become a confident father cause this is not my doing. If I were to make a map and show her beginning to where she is now it would easy to see that, from her own effort, of course she’s where she is now. And this is where she’s going. Just don’t impede progress or let out too much slack. For my own sake.

I’m getting closer I think. We are missing a defined, coming of age… rite of passage, ritual. Miss T said she really doesn’t want a celebration. I let her know its not a celebration and it wouldn’t necessarily be as much fun as it should be serious. She has had responsibility put upon her and whatever “ritual” I happen to find or adopt should impress the fact that there will be more to come. The little kid is done, the young women starts now.
Of course, I’ll wait till after Christmas. No need to get serious that quick.
My gut says to make it a strong event. My head says keep it simple. She’s going to have a hard enough time as it is.
The stars. The four directions. Earth, wind & fire. Mind, body & soul. Past, present & future. Oil & water.
This is a coming of age for me too. Its going to get alot harder before it gets easier.

and all is well so far. At the moment I think she feels comfortable telling me anything.

We are up one day and down the next. You know when your kid is sick and you wish you could be sick for them instead of watching them wretch and moan? Well I wouldn’t do that here. I went through that once and I really have no desire to do it again. This must be part of that pain that makes the accomplishment at the end feel so great. She doesn’t want to grow up. She doesn’t want the responsibility. She said that. I think thats pretty smart but I told her she doesn’t have a choice about her body. Its changing. Cope. “You didn’t want your dog to die either, did you? But it happened”
Now that I write it… it looks brutal, but it worked.

This is the most important thing on my list and it is, at this moment, the easiest, most natural thing for me to do. Could just be in the genes, she has my disposition and her moms good looks. She is smarter, more outgoing and taller than I was at that age.
From the looks of it everyone else thinks this is the most worthwhile thing too. Satisfying affirmation of my beliefs.

she’s 10 going on 20. change is coming. I know when I was 12 I had to make decisions concerning all of the above. You can’t be with them all the time but she’ll know I’ll aways be available if she needs me. Plus by that time she’ll have her 2nd degree black belt, working towards her 3rd degree I hope.

I think the key is helping your daughter find out what she enjoys and what she can do well(usually the same thing, and it helps if you, as her parent, like it too!)