not be so lonely

I cannot believe one insignificant person spurred on thoughts of quitting my internship. I suppose this is evidence there truly is a problem that needs to be addressed.

Looks like I need all the help that I can get. If there is anyone who acquired thick skin, please reply to this with useful tips on how to grow stronger. ~TM

I came to the realization today that loneliness has eaten away more success and progress in my life than any other inhibitor (probably more than all of my shortcomings combined actually). Today my confidence was rocked after explaining the plot of a book I am reading to one of the other interns. He coldly dismissed me after hearing about The Alchemist. My assumption is that others who feel but do not live in a loneliness might not have been so discouraged in the same situation. Me on the other hand, I felt dismembered. This semester is going very poorly, there are no solid job prospects on the horizon and every task is a struggle to complete. One would think those problems would supercede a small socially awkward moment, but no. I have always felt alone.

When I was dating someone I really loved I grasped the things that I wanted. Really it is the only time I felt bold and unmoved by other’s indifference. The only time in my life honestly. Now, without anyone, I am desperately lonely again and like before everything that I want is far beyond my reach. It’s a curse.

Now what?

when i started this goal, I at least had a girlfriend. and now we’re spit up.

after leaving her, i’ve been on auto: work, sleep, even hanging out with the couple of friends i have seems a necessity and not a pleasureable experience. (not that its not nice, y’know)

it’s been 3 weeks, i don’t feel lonely. but that’s because friends came out of the woodwork. that was nice. i’m not settled, and i’m worried that if i do get settled in my own place, i’ll get lonely again.

Nobody probably reads this anyway….peace out.

My fiancé leaves on the weekends because we’re having problems. I can live with that. It was just my birthday. i wasn’t too alone on my birthday, from 8pm-1am i spent it with my twin brother. Does that count?

still lonely, I’ve accepted it, but don’t want to be.

It’s tough not to be lonely with all that routine. My fiancé sometimes goes out, so even the evenings are empty. Luckily, House M.D. is on tonight. But then, she might go on the computer.

still lonely. Staying in on weekends, all weekend. No friends close enough to go out with. Not enough money to do anything.
Prefer to play video games anyway…sigh.

and i’m the only one who want to apparently!