tell people how I really feel about them

I have always said nice things to other people and never told them how I really feel. Like if someone asks me if they like their new haircut I always say it is so cute. I am tired of lying to people and I am going to tell them how I really feel from now on.

Where is it that boundaries lie, separating innocence from corruption, good, from evil, or normal from odd?
When does an innocent crush become an unhealthy fixation, or is perceived as such?
What makes an expressive profession of love different from one person’s lips as compared to another’s?
When is it deemed appropriate, if at all, to profess what one has held imprisoned in one’s thoughts?

Always it has been the wrong time for me, or perhaps, it’s the right time, but I’m the wrong person.
Were I a different person, I would not struggle with letting those I care deeply about, or admire, know without fearing an adverse reaction.
Or, perhaps, some thoughts are never meant to be spoken, never meant to be revealed, only meant to reside within the mental prison, casting one as both warden and prisoner.

These thoughts are seen as sweet, and quaintly honest by others, but when revealed to the object of fixation produce a negative reaction, and one is now seen as a creep.
My greatest fear is one that has come to fruition several times, and thus, I become a timid mouse, afraid to say what my heart thinks, afraid of destroying more friendships, afraid of one more set of eyes to avoid.

I am tired of people’s shit. I am tired of two-faced people, people that act like your friend and that they care then they fuck you over. I am tired of all this High-School drama, I can’t wait to get out. People get mad over the most retarded stuff. I am tired of people acting like they are better than me, or feel like they know more or are more mature. I hate people my own age that feel they can tell em what to do. One day, soon, I’m going to break. and it is not giong to be pretty for some people…

This seems like it would be a scary one, but if it is from the heart then there isn’t anything to be afraid of.

I feel a little honesty stirring up inside me. Maybe I will do this soon.

I have shingles for the second time in a year. I was talking with my therapist…yes, therapist…and she said that stress causes shingles. I knew this. She said that I have issues with telling people how I feel when I feel it. Like I bottle up my emotions, which causes stress. So I’d really like to be able to just be upfront with everyone and thus..no more shingles. Because shingles…SUCK.

I had one of the best spiritual weekends ever and then this evening I got this urge to just tell everyone everything, unfortunately it wasn’t the most opportune time, seeing as I was on a bus on the way back from a church retreat and I dialed a friend without thinking of what I was going to say- luckily I got their voicemail and hung up.

Although I should have taken that opportunity to express my love for all the people in my youth group, I’ll save that for another day. :]

I cant remember the last time I havent told someone how I really feel about them that moment before leaving them… I consider this goal completed…but that doesnt mean I will stop telling people how I really feel

I was close… but then we had a little run in with a greater authority.

I tend to not express myself truthfully and without censorship. I am rarely fully honest about my emotions. I want to be able to tell the people that I love that I love them. Explain to some people that I am IN LOVE with them. Tell other people that they are an important part of my life and I wouldn’t know what to do without them. I want to tell people that I hate that I hate them. Confront the people who have fucked me over and tell them just what I think of that. If I think someone is stupid I want to let them know. I know the risks of telling people the whole truth about what you think about them, but sometimes I think it might be worth it.