be independent in all ways

At a young age my father kicked me out of the house. I started doing meth and got into alot of trouble. He let me back in after two years. He totally felt bad about forcing me into the streets so ever sinse then, about 17 years ago, he has helped me in every way possible. Free rent in my own house that he owns and no utilities to pay. I do have a job but it doesnt pay enough to completely pay for everything it takes to live. Any way I’m stuck living life under his thumb. I want to be my own person and completely take care of myself.

You know I thought that this would be one of the most liberating things that I could experience, but it has become one of those things that I acheive and I’m all like “and I wanted this?”

I have truly reached my independence because now I am paying ALL of my bills. I have a mortgage. I have insurance and a deed. Independence feels good, but it is also lonely.

No one ever really tells you that when you are really reaching for it. More than ever when I come home to my own little home, I realize that no one is there to greet me. No one is there to say good-bye or good morning. I have longed for independence since the age of 16. I finally have it and now, I’m lonely.

Fickle, fickle, fickle…humans are so very fickle.

i am not independent at all, and its a bit depressing. I’ll get there someday, I’m unsure of how to start though.