have my cake and eat it too

So there is a song that we sing at kamp [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC_gkcplz_4 ] and at the end of the song they say “you cant have your cookies and ice cream and eat ‘em too.” So i want to do this because i never understood that part!

I’m new to this, but I just need to vent. This is one of the best times in my life, but also one of the most difficult. I am soon to be 27 attractive SBF, have a job that I enjoy, great pay, good friends and a wonderful boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. So what’s the difficulty you ask…WELLLLL, I have a wonderful man indeed, but I also have a friend and we have been friends for over 5 years-we go back and forth…sometimes we don’t speak for months, but he’s always there when I need him and vice versa and he knows me almost more than anyone else…it’s hard to let him go as a friend, but I know I need to because I have a need to be more than friends with him (he’s already spoken his intentions-he’s wants me bad and is trying to prove it by calling me all the time, gifts when he comes to town, etc.) I do not want to even be tempted to mess up my happy home-but I already AM! But hold on that’s not all…I had a college crush and guess what?I ran into him today-he is even more handsome than he was in college-he’s staying in my area, has a wonderful job, his own home…I know that sounds materialistic, but hey-he got it going on! He’s also such a genuinely sweet guy, humble and driven…I got sweaty palms as soon as I saw his face-I truly felt like I was back in college. I wanted to immediately jump his bones! After a word or 2 of conversation, he asked for my phone# so that we can “hang out” sometime…and of course I couldn’t say “no”, but now I’m awaiting his call. So now you see why this is the best and the most difficult. Truthfully, I don’t want to give anything up…esp. not my wonderful man-I know you probably think, if he’s soooo wonderful-why am I tempted? WELLLLL, sometimes I’m not sure if we’re compatible…I’m more of an optimist and he’s more pessimistic…we love doing some of the same things, but we don’t have a lot of long-term goals in common and we have total conflict on future plans. But, he a GOOD MAN…we actually enjoy being around each other and that is hard to come by…so I stay because I don’t wanna be a SBF for the rest of my life, nor do I wanna end up with someone I grow to dislike because I’m living his dreams not my own. I know I’m ranting and going from one thing to the other…but basically-I wanna have my cake and eat it too. I don’t wanna hurt him and I am a firm believer in KARMA…so what is a girl to do? I try to convince myself that I’m not married…so I should “DO ME”...but I would die if I found out my baby was doing the same…but then again-what if he is and I don’t know about it…what is a girl to do??? Maybe have my cake and save some for later…if you know what I mean(LOL :-)

I don’t really know what this means. I just thought I’d put it down because a lot of people say it, and it sounds like it would be fun. :)