When I Returned,
2 years ago
To my hometown after almost 40yrs, this was the picture I got of the church we attended.
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Where else can I live?
2 years ago
I grew up in a small quaint New Hampshire village in the foothill of the White Mountains. My childhood was wonderful and I had free run of the place. Over the last 33yrs my life has gone down the drain. Without getting into everything it boils down to the fact that my body has turned on me, the pain I live with daily cannot be treated with meds. I can no longer write as typing hurts plus the words do not seem to flow as easy as with pen and paper. Also I can no longer draw, not that I was a great artist but I had fun. No more rock-hounding or beach combing. Sex, even kissing is very painful. Petting my cats and playing with my puppy is painful. The pain will never go away, only get worse. I have no hopes for the future, no life in the present (I am a social phobe to boot). All I have that doesn’t hurt are my memories. I collect postcards and books from the towns I lived in NH, I dwell on the words and pictures to refresh those memories that are fading.
So yes I live in the past as I only merely exist from now to the day I die.
that I’ve managed to turn into a habit. It just happens by itself now, like breathing out and breathing in.
Hmmm, perhaps I’ll try living in a period melodrama next.
Usually this has negative associations ...
4 years ago
We hear about elderly or even just older people who ‘retreat’ into their pasts, where they had more fun, weren’t terminally ill, got listened to by others – as opposed having their stories and opinions merely patronised or tolerated – you get the idea. And hey – if it floats their boats, it’s OK. A bit of a pity they can’t be more enthused or engaged in the present, but that’s often our attitude to seniors as much as their responses to ageing.
What I mean with “live in the past” is more positive. We live more fully in the present by understanding our attitudes in situations, and our responses to events. And the key to that understanding is finding similar situations and events in our past, where our attitudes and responses were formed, maybe for the first time. To live in the past helps us to discover the present. And perhaps to unlock our futures.
