feel the fear and do it anyway

Last night i played a gig for the first time in a LONG time—> just two songs,, nothing major.. but they went down well and they asked me back

Tonight I planned to hit another open mike.. but .. .. the fear is there and without jess to hold my hand.. well.. i’ve chickened out abit.. 2days in a row is just too much for me .. seriously

man… .. . i’ve learnt alot about myself the last 5 weeks with jess.. .. and she’s really helped me accept it and bleed out the venom inside me.. . . to trust her .. allow her to trust me . man,, i feel naked without her now …

social anXiety is hell .. .. . but just when i let it push me down like i did tonight … it’s important to get back up again and give it another go …. . i’m scheduled to play at another open mike on Friday so I’ll put all my positive energy into giving it a go .. . still feeling pretty disappointed about tonight though

I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared!!!

I’m checking this off the second I see my grades—it’ll mean I was brave enough to face the most uncertain times of my life with courage. Finishing the semester will mean that I held on to my goals amid deep despair.

I’m scared every day; I think this makes me brave. Not being afraid could be ignorance; I feel the fear to the point of tears and somehow always make it through.

I feared having a c-section and did everything I could to avoid it, but my affirmation wasn’t quite right as I ended up having an emergency c-section anyway. Read the story under having another baby.

I’m currently working my way through “Feel the Fear and Beyond”. Since I read “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” last year I have given 2 copies to friends of mine and I keep reconmending it to people. Yesterday, my boyfriend’s mother came over to see him because he’s depressed and she brought him a copy of it!

I haven’t been doing much affirmations much latley but I did some yesterday and have done some today.

No one knows

that I am afraid of everything.

I am dying over a decision I have to take right now and i’ve been feeling the fear for a whole week now and not liking it at all !

I am studying right now for my Masters in Law, am in my final year, and recently moved out of my father’s house and got a student job to feel independant.I don’t really like my life because I think it’s boring and the people around me are boring but at least I was beginning to act for myself.Suddenly a week ago, I got an internship offer at the United Nations in New-York.I was really excited and said yes.Now 9 days later I have been unable to do anything towards going there, I haven’t made a single arrangement for the trip, haven’t told my boss and landlords I was leaving, and have been basicaly doing anything I could to just avoid the immense fear I feel.I don’t know what to do because everytime I try to do something that would bring me closer to leaving, I go to sleep, go out, call someone…I am doing everything i can to run away from it.So I’m thiking maybe I should just say no to them because I feel completely unable to just go there and do this internship, it’s too much for me, too many uncertainties.The only thing that has prevented me from saying no is the expected feeling of self-hatred I will start to develop right after sending them an e-mail because I hate letting the fear get in the way and I usually despise people and myself for doing it but what can I do to actually act ??And is it ok to give up because you’re immensely scared ?

I don’t really know where to post this, so I’m putting it here. Because it’s about feeling something but wanting to go on.

I have been feeling anxious/down the last day or so. And that put me into a cycle of bad sleep and more anxiety. Meditation and relaxation exercises didn’t help. Staying up kept me thinking, which didn’t help.

And here’s Monday again, and it’s the same old stuff. Same problems, same worries. I tried to picture what I would do if I could be doing anything at all, and I couldn’t even come up with one thing.

But it is springtime in Providence. I just went out for a few minutes, and the air was warm. The trees are in full flowering mode. I got a vision of myself on a balcony in the warm air, reading a book. Even though I had to come back inside to work, it was a soothing thought.

So what is there this sad little scared feeling that wants to hold on? It won’t let me be that completely “chill” person, the other half. It wants to call S and say I’m not happy. It wants to worry and wallow in the not feeling well. It wants to ruin my productivity, and ruin my health. And it did, for two days and nights. I want it to be gone!

i am agonising over a decision,can’t believe it is so hard.
i really want to go but something is holding me back, a fear of ? what exactly i do not know. i even made a pact with myself, if… then…, the if was an unlikely occurrence and BANG it happened, so i SHOULD go.

the other day i was put in the situation of having to give a public speech in front of over 100 people.
my first reaction was to bail out and get someone else to cover for me, but then i thought of this goal and just gave it my best shot.
and … i am so glad i did!
i was afraid i’d lose the plot on stage but it all went well, next time it will be easier again :D

And it’s the biggest month ever! I have three homework assignments (working on one right now) and the Final. Because I did so badly on the midterm, the final will be even more important.

I’m working a little better tonight – nothing like last time on the HW. I have it halfway done and am not NEARLY as anxious. I hope this is a real change.