follow my spirit

Always…

I need an idea for this summer/fall. I don’t know if I should go away during the summer because my sister moved her wedding up to October 4th, but I was thinking of hiking a trail (nothing too serious like the Appalachian, but maybe part of it) or should I just take a summer semester to catch up?

So much of me just wants to hike, or go back to the Northwest, but I don’t know if I should…

I have a dream. I want to quit college. I hate where I learn (online, all the time). I hate my classes (Children’s Lit is alright, she’s allowed into the treehouse). School just seems to be clouding my mind, and I don’t even want to make time for it. I know how lucky I am to be able to actually get an education. But let’s step back and think about it.

I go to a community college. In Lansing. Do you know how great their writing program is? They failed me because I wrote a satire for my final portfolio, and “it just sounded mean.” It was about working at fucking McDonalds, you dicks. I was verbally abused there. It was not going to be about how I was tell people to put their smile on while I served them fat and a cup of Coke.

Concurrently, I am taking two classes. I almost decided to forgo this entire semester, but was talked out of it. I settled upon taking Children’s Literature, and U.S. History. I don’t mind the Lit class because I can read books I used to read when I was still an infant, but the History class is killin’ me. Forums, old white guys and their essays about oil and industry, blah blah blah. It’s not interesting at all, and I could take a different history I could fall in passionate love with, like History of Rock and Roll, except there’s no way that it would transfer to a University I’d like to attend to later in life.

Some of my friends have been telling me their stories. One of my friends, Joey, told me that after her first semester at the University of Michigan, she hated it. She didn’t know what she wanted to do, but she kept going and she almost failed out. So she stopped going, and focused on what would make her happy in life, and to start going to school to do so. Now she actually wants to go to school, and do better.

I just want to spend my time writing, making films, photographing…

I know all the rules but the rules do not know me

This summer I’m thinking of moving to AZ- probably in the Phoenix/Paradise Valley area with one of my friends and her boyfriend. She lives in Oregon with him right now, and depending on the trip I have coming up, and spending all that time with her might have an impact on whether or not I do.

I always feel like i’m on this track of life that i can’t stray from. I need to be more free and do things because i want to and they make me happy rather than other people telling me i need to do them.

“Don’t question why she needs to be so free; she’ll tell you it’s the only way to be. she just can’t be chained to a life where nothing’s gained, and nothing’s lost.”

They seem to grasp ahold of my thinking right now…

Yea. Like following the inner solar plexus, heart power, spirit/hp knows best. Nurturing and trusting the physical, gut level, intuitive pull of the universe on my being. Yea. Like that.