stop living in the past

gahh.

I’m happy, then i have to remember some bad moment and I’m back there and everything sucks =[

I need to let these things go, and accept who i am now..

this is going to be hard lol

My husband bullied me along with his father into an abortion that i didnt want. i kept walking out he took me there 3 times i should have called the police but i didnt want a scene we have 3 other children. i did it to keep the peace and it was the stupidest thing i ever did. i have no family and thought i had no one to turn to but i learned that strangers would have helped me. My husb is sorry and has become a born again Christian and so now he thinks he is all forgiven. i dont think so. i now sleep with a former love cause i am trying to get pregnant again i hope and pray it happens. i am not trying to replace the baby i lost only to help me move on so i can be a good mother again and i will worship this new baby.

I was good friends with a girl in high school. We graduated in 2004 and stayed friends but weren’t as close because we were busy with work, school, etc. The last year or so it seems like she only called me when she needed something, like if she was upset and needed someone to talk to. I’d hang out with her and probably wouldn’t again for about a month. That really started to bother me but I didn’t say anything. I haven’t talked to her since March 12th (Yes, I remember the date because we were talking about something). March 12th was a Thursday and SHE asked if I wanted to hang out on Sunday. I never did hear from her and this is almost two months later. I’ve just been waiting for her to call or email me and for me to tell her to stop using me…but that hasn’t happened. My fiance saw her one night and asked why she hasn’t been to our house lately. My birthday was a little over a week ago and ever since we’ve been friends, she always called me at 12:00a.m. to wish me a happy birthday. This year she didn’t. SHE DIDN’T EVEN WRITE ON MY FACEBOOK WALL. Come on, EVERYONE wishes you a happy birthday on your Facebook wall. So, yeah, I guess we’re done being “friends”...This really bothered me before because I’m so quiet and it’s hard for me to make friends….but now, I’m so tired of being used…and now ignored…I’m DONE!

There is only one thing from my past that still haunts me. It all began about 4 years ago. My mother offered to help her now deceased sister out financially. It is complicated. And I am still angry about it. Lets just say in my opinion I feel like my aunt took advantage of my mother. I am still mad about it because we are still paying for most of the responsibilities my aunt so carelessly gave to us. Our quality of life has decreased because of it. I am getting over it now. I feel like time really does heal the wounds, and how can you be upset with a dead person? Stupid… and it makes me feel a bit evil too.

At some point, I lost sight of what my personal goals are. I believe it is because I have changed. I am not the same person who knew she wanted to plan events and meetings for thousands of people. When I stopped believing/ living that, then I lost a part of who I thought I was. I don’t have a clue as to who I currently am. Throughout my identity search, I’m looking at my past and the people I know from my past and it has made me very sad. I am not well-liked. I am actually very disliked by many many people. I think more people dislike me than like me. BUT if I wasn’t living in the past- I wouldn’t be burdened by worrying about this. I can focus on not acting like the person who so many people don’t want to talk to. I am learning from past mistakes.

I’ve lived in the past all my life. I’ve been stuck in quick-sand and not even realized that I should try and get out of it because I didn’t know another perspective. I’ve thought of memories and what I would have done differently to the point where my heart races and I just want to cry. I want a change. Perspective seems to come too late. I think/know that the trick to this is APPRECIATING what you have when you have it. My ex tried to show me this, but I guess I didn’t get it then and not even now. Any advice on how to succeed at this?

Would I be living in the past if I wanted to wish my ex “A Merry Christmas”? I know the chances are zip of us to be together, but it is Christmas. We ended on a horrible note, I was rude and inconsiderate and she spoke in a way that made me feel like I got slapped? So what should I do, live on without saying “Merry Chirstmas” or say it and know that even if it was said, there still is nothing between us, ever. Any thoughts from others would be nice.

My last relationship went bad. I am currently in another relationship and love it but just can’t get the past out of my head. Everytime I get reminded of or think of my ex it makes me depressed and just want to go to my bed and cry. I had a huge bad thing happen with my last bf and it hurt me menatlly and physically. I won’t go into detail but I can say I’ll always have a bad reminder and memmory of him. Leaving the past in the past is hard for me and I can’t get it out. Help!

Okay, I just realized that I am so stuck in the past!!!! Yes, I always knew that I had a fondness for the past such as is shown with my collection of 1970s Matchbox cars or the hours spent living in the memories of vacations past, but I never knew how much the past was keeping me from the future. I have been divorced for 8 months now and have been a mess. There is probably minimal chance of reconciliation but because I live in the past, I want to do whatever it takes to get back with my ex. The past even hinders me in pursuing new relationships as I feel guilty about being with someone instead of making every attempt at getting back with my ex. I am so glad I found this forum even if the posts are dated because at least I don’t feel so alone anymore.

My whole life i was the one that liked taking pictures and thinking of the memories it had, eventually i notice i was like that with everything, and I almost thought the only reason I was brought into this life is to be stuck the past. I want to move on, meet new people, make things, I want to start living.