For most of my life I have thought all wrong!! I have believed I am unworthy and unlikable, I have believed all people want to do is hurt me and use me, and I have been hurt and used so many times!!So i push people away and put up an iron clad brick wall, to stop anyone getting in even myself and my mum! as soon as people get close I back off treat them badly, and do a runner!! don’t mean to hurt people but just defending myself in my little mind! thing is now I have done this for so long and made every excuse going not to do anything just barely scrape by that its a HABIT!!! now. I have now lost all social skills and have no friends and no social life, nobody trusts me or really wants to spend any time with me so now I hurt more than any one could ever hurt me!! I am lonely!!And desperate to change my HABIT!! I have got to change my habit right now and forever, and i have to do it myself for myself> I am still young with plenty of life ahead of me, and i want friends, a man, kids, social life, confidance , the works. I want it all and i want it now! So I am just gonna forget about everyone else and what they need want or think!! Tough this me doing this for me!! I am radically altering my whole way of thinking and being and reinventing myself as the person i want to be!! 21 months ago
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