Since graduating college in ‘05, I have reduced my comfort zone to my house; to a lesser extent my workplace; and a little patch of desert in California that my father and I visit every year (my gparents live out there for part of the winter). The smaller one’s comfort zone becomes, the bigger and scarier the outside world becomes. This in turn makes one even more fearful of venturing outside the comfort zone, thus leading to a cycle of more fear and an ever-smaller comfort circle.
What is especially hard for me personally is that, at one time, my comfort zone spanned continents. Now it is reduced to a few mile radius.
I dont like having a comfort zone this small. I love to travel – or should I say, I used to love to travel, I like learning about things global, studying other cultures, etc. So I have this huge tension between what I really want, and what I actually have because I think its safe.
A global dream and desire, yet a pitifully local life.
No wonder contentment, satisfaction, and happiness elude me. I self-sabotage, push dreams further and further out, and just fill up with more fear, all in the name of “safety.” Where the world was once an invigorating and exciting place full of fun – even though I have always had some fears, that is only normal – it is now a place, in my mind, filled with danger, suffering, and destruction. People are violent, hurtful and judgmental, rather than peaceful, open and kind. Will the world ever be a friendly and fun place again?
Perhaps.
I need to slowly expand my comfort circle, little by little. A radical shift in my thoughts and beliefs is also necessary.
First place to start: getting a PT job that requires no resume and does not involve working with any family members.
