While at the club I was stuck to my friend like glue, but the more comfortable I became I ventured off with the new people who came with us and I even mingled with others, which is huge. In these type of situations I’m usually the wallflower. 1 month ago
People doing thisSee everyone
I have a fear of being in crowded/loud places,open spaces alone. I feel like people are constantly judging me or want to do harm to me. I know it sounds crazy, but the fear is soooo strong well until yesterday. I finally worked up the courage and went back to a casino that my family took me for my bday. I went to redeem rewards on my card. I was sooo nervous walking in, but I kept repeating to myself nothing bad is going to happen, and nothing did :-)
I’m going to keep this up and keep facing my fears… 2 months ago
I thought last month I would be fearless and get out of my comfort zone, meet new people, etc, but I was still frozen by fear. I did however enjoy my bday weekend with my family, but I usually hang with my family so that doesn’t count,haha.
Since February I have tried to make plans with “friends” to try to get out and do something(other people usually make plans),but that failed because on each occasion I was stood up. I would plan to go out to lunch, dinner, go see a movie, etc and they would agree to accompany me, but when the time came they were no call, no show. I understand things happen, but to not notify me is rude.
I need to get over my fears of going to social events by myself and meet new people because as long as I stay in my shell, the more alone I will remain. 3 months ago
“do what scares you” or “God hates a coward,” because those are two sayings that have always done right by me.
J and I have always jokingly used the phrase “God hates a coward” to force ourselves to take a big step—a trip we’re afraid to plan (or nervous about paying for), a move, a new job, etc. It’s kind of become our family mantra.
J and I got to see our good friend CT, who recently moved from our city to Brooklyn, while we were on our trip to New York. She was telling us that she signed up for a public speaking class, since it’s the thing that scares her most and she wants to make new friends now that she’s in a new place. I’m really proud of her!
She got me thinking a little bit about myself and what scares me, and the truth is…. I don’t really know. I mean, there are things outside of my control that certainly frighten me, but as far as things I CAN control, I have a hard time thinking about them. It’s also hard for me to distinguish between things that I’m actually afraid of and things that I just think are impossible, if that makes any sense.
So, list-lover that I am, I’m going to try to make some lists to better understand what I’m really afraid of and what would be healthy for me to pursue.
THINGS I’M AFRAID OF (but that would probably be healthy to do:
*Overnight backpacking (also affected by my laziness/time constraints)
*Performing my stand-up (I used to do this, but the venue I performed at closed down and I’ve been too lazy/timid/uninspired to find another place.)
*Reading my poetry somewhere
*Sharing my poetry with my ubertalented writer friends
*Writing a damn book already (also affected by my laziness/time constraints)
*Taking a language class (also affected by my laziness/time constraints)
*Taking another improv class (also affected by my laziness/time constraints)
*Trying exercise classes that I think I’ll be bad at (dance, cardio kickbox, advanced yoga)
I am starting to think that I’m not really so much afraid of most things as I am just too busy (and too smart—I’ve made this mistake before!) to overextend myself. I want to be careful with this list. Having downtime and not asking too much of myself is important.
And after writing this, I’m starting to think that I really am not an especially fearful person. You want to know what scares me more than any of these things? Teaching. I do it every day.
I guess I’m proud of the way I live my life. Regardless, it’s good to keep an inventory of what I keep myself from doing. Not because I must do those things, but just so I remember that I can. 4 months ago
Now that I am considered “well” by mu doctors it is time to celebrate it. My bday is coming up really soon so there is no better timing to step out of my comfort zone than this month.
I have to keep telling myself how will things change if I don’t.. 5 months ago
I decided it was finally time to seek new challenges so I decided to leave a job that fostered me and which provided me with a lot of support (and one in which I excelled) and start in the field of my study. I knew it would be difficult and that I would probably never find such a great environment as the one I worked in, but I never realized how hard it would actually be.
I`m starting to settle into my new job, but have found that I have entered a very negative and cynical environment. While I let it all in and let it affect me during the first two weeks, I had a moment of realization when I discovered that I would lose myself and my joie de vivre if I allowed myself to indulge my colleagues in their negativity. I decided to disengage from that type of behaviour and now insist on remaining extremely professional. My colleagues seem disappointed. For first the first time in two weeks, however, I feel good about myself and can actually sleep. So I`ve done the right thing, regardless of how they feel about it. I refuse to allow myself to engage in petty office politics and firmly believe we can all do better than that. I guess time will tell if my colleagues will follow my lead. 7 months ago
I know I need to do this for so many reasons, but the what-ifs and fear have such a hold on me.
I’m so used to playing it safe by going to familiar places(“safe” places I can go alone & feel comfortable) or having someone to accompany me to social events so I wouldn’t feel awkward. Now that my social circle is shrinking(because my of friends married lives, starting families & relocation) I need to make some adjustments and put myself out there and make things happen with my life.
Overall I just need get rid of this fear that has kept me in this rut. 9 months ago
Last night, I was (finally) telling GF about my position in the gender spectrum & how I want to deal with it. A truely open conversation opening the way to a deeper level in our relationship and exploring further who I am.
Excited :) 10 months ago
I’m thinking about getting a swimsuit to go swimming again. I’m not really afraid of swimming, I’m afraid of showing so much of my body. Swimsuits make me very uncomfortable, but I think I can get over it. I’ve only just recently started showing my arms. Maybe sometime I’ll graduate to shorts, too! I’m excited to start getting more confident. 13 months ago
since I feel I’m back on my feet again.
I’ve traveled, met new people, started handing out resumes etc and I had fun while doing it. I wish the same to all of you too <3 13 months ago