cry until I can't cry anymore

No matter how many drawling hours I have wasted bawling my eyes out until they’re red, puffy, and veiny, there’s always something painful left in there to dig up. Like having all your molars pulled out but always finding out there’s one more hidden somewhere that you’ll need to get rid of. It’s theuropatic, but there’s no way to cry THAT much that you’ll never cry again… there’ll always be something new to upset you.

I think tears that haven’t been cried are like bits of poison eating away at your soul. I would feel SO much better if I could just cry for an entire day. And then some.

i have lost my ability to cry. my first inclination is for that to make me want to cry. i haven’t cried in freakin forever. i mean cry cried. i cried at a commercial the other day. and a scene during grey’s anatomy. and so i guess you should know that i used to cry all the time, over any and everything. it was awful. i don’t miss that. but maybe it was healthy…now i’m on the other extreme and i’m not sure how i feel about it.
i’m not sure if it’s because i actually don’t have anything to cry about or because i have suppressed my emotions so well that i can’t even identify them. also maybe because i am growing out of adolescence and everything isn’t as shocking and life breaking as it used to be. i’m only 20 though. things should still have shock factor.

When my brother died,
and then when my mother died.

I passed out. Simple for me, I have low blood pressure, so any loss of fluids to this extreme, and I’m out.

I don’t know how long I cried, but…I guess it’s part of grieving. Not worth it, worth it, I don’t know.

Inevitable I’d say.

When I was nine on 2005 my brother was diagnosed with canser. He passed away in October 2005… I cryed for 3 days stright. I still cry when I hear God’s Will By Martina Mcbride and I loved her first by Hartland. Trust me… It’s not worth it…

cry until I can no longer feel any pain.