be more conscious

It has been painful this week, with certain issues. But it makes my decisions smarter, more objective.

i tend to meditate on public transport ‘im alive’ and feel the present moment

sometimes i achieve a shift in my consciousness and feel truly blissful, content, calm and aware, its unbelievable

i wish i could achieve this state of awareness at all times, i guess it takes alot of practise

when i was on the train today, i thought about my purpose in life

‘to blow peoples minds with music’

i couldn’t help feeling it was a little pretentious and not a beautiful way of putting it

i thought something simpler might be better

i tried on ‘make music everywhere’

i listened to the pitches of the train leaving the station, the jets of air, hums and recycling of air vents, peoples movements, steps, shuffles, coughs, sneezes, made a little sound world in my head

it felt great, i was really relaxed and again found myself connected with the present moment but perhaps not as strongly as a few times before

i feel like i’ve had a few truly powerful moments of conscious awareness

but repeating the exercises i used to achieve this are having diminishing returns

perhaps im just not doing it enough, i worry that i may be wasting time, procrastinating, staring into space

i need to achieve my shifts in consciousness while still getting things done

anyway, i dont know if this post made sense, buts its done now