have an exhibition

I hit a major major emotional creative block during my final year of high school, and never really found my way back to painting. I expressed my creativity through other means, but always felt a big wall when I even thought about painting. It’s taken a journey through fashion, music, drugs, 4 cities, 2 nervous breakdowns, but I’ve finally begun to dissolve the block. And it feels brilliant!

The best part is that I’m realising that the time in between wasn’t wasted. I’m seeing a new level to my work that wasn’t there before. A spirit of music, the depth of the life I’ve lived, it’s all there.

So I plan to have an exhibition. I’m going to be gentle with myself. No deadlines. Just one canvas after another, working on it when I feel the desire. Until I have enough to organise an event. I can see it in my mind.

May 5th is the opening night of my exhibition.
I hope it’s a success and that people have a good time, and that I sell some books!

We had our graduating exhibition last night, for our design course. The night actually turned out so much better than i expected!

It was great fun, we had a huge turn-out, and i got a number of commendations and even an award/certificate! I was so pleasantly surprised! It was a big effort to get it all organised and set up, but so worth it in the end!

i was driving home tonight and i saw a bird that had been hit by a car by the side of the road. It wasn’t dead yet. i stopped got out and went to see. It looked so pitiful but there was no blood poor thing. it couldn’t move except to flap its wings. it was breathing heavily and its long legs were stretched out behind him.

i wanted to put it out of its misery but i couldn’t becuase i was feeling so weak myself.

i went down the road a bit and found a man to do it for us. he hit it on teh head with a rock. I think this was the right thing to do.

poor beautiful bird. it was a curlew. they make a lovely mournful noise at night.

There is an exhibition in the planning that if i can come up with somethign, i might be able to enter.

the theme is death. i brainstormed this them in a file on my computer and then managed to delete it somehow. how annoying.

anyway, i probably won’t be able to submit a painting as i have to show images of previous work and i only hvae images of my felt work. certainly there is not much from my recent painting classes that i could show.

Meanwhile, the notion that takes me the most about death is the idea of the void. how to represent this? in felt? of all things. Could this be an extremely hopeless idea. anyway, i will have to mull it over a bit.

Not that there aren’t a myriad of other possible approaches to take: roadkill, dead animals, plants, cemetaries, disease, my friend dying of cancer, hospitals, churches, funerals, the 5 journalists who were murdered by teh indonesians, iraqi victims of bombs in the marekt place etc. i mean the directions are endless. Not to mention old machinery, broken dolls, worn out garments worn out anything, decay in general and in particular.

perhaps i should do some research.

from NOW: take steps towards havign an exhibition this year. or close to that.

i have too much on my plate worrying me at the moment. this can wait a bit.

i went to a show tonight. having a crisis of confidence. didn’t hang around long enough to go and speak to the right people, though i met a few artists. It was a good show.

an email about this tomorrow. or draft one at least, otherwise, i will have given up on it.

i guess i could cheat a bit and revise the title of the goal.

I haven’t forgotten but am feeling a bit reluctant becuase i know that X is busy with a exhbition that’s due soon.

perhaps i could email him and let him know that i want to talk to him soon and maybe just make an appointment.

work out a picture project for an existing exhbition such as for the a local art society, end of year art group in town, or other local art competition.

It would be nice to aim higher too but at this stage…. perhaps only conceieve of the work as being for a more elite venue or competition but just submit to a local one, or aim to, rather.

whatever, happens don’t get carried away. keep it all in perspective. and if its crap, don’t both showing it at all.

step 1, conceive of a project. a smallish one. maybe imagine its a portrait for the archibald and see how it goes. whatever, give it some thought – tomorrow.