not worry all the time

i don’t spend all my time worrying these days. am checking this off for now as done.

It helps that we both have positions at this university for one more year. But, I’m trying to worry less about financial matters and about the future. I’m working to let go and let God, sort of speak.

We have no guarantees yet for the upcoming academic year, 2007-2008, but we have some prospects. My natural inclination is to worry, ofcourse. But, I’m giving our concerns to the Lord, praying that he’ll open doors in the direction he wants us to go and he’ll close doors where he doesn’t want us to go.

dang it. i stink at this goal. why is it so hard for me to stop worrying all the time? i don’t enjoy obsessing. aaaaaaackkkkkk, i want to give up on this goal. i’m praying, praying, praying about it.

one matter of consistent concern, for me, is money. my husband and i finally sat down and made a realistic budget. to make a long story short, we can’t live on his income alone at this point. and i’m being hired for really low wages for teaching part-time at the university. the amount is so obscenely low that it cannot even be mentioned!

i’m struggling not to obsess over money. can’t quite give the details, but i’m about to go from working full-time to working part-time. with this child on the way, very, very, soon – which means additional expenses – and other expenses, too, can’t quite wrap my finger around how we’re going to manage. yes, yes, hubby’s still working full-time, but still . . .

need to make out a budget.

i stink at not worrying. we don’t know whether we’ll be employed for the next academic year or how we’ll make money, and that makes me super nervous. this seems rather frustrating considering my husband has a phd, and i will have one soon (hopefully by august). i’m especially worried and nervous given that we have a little one due to arrive in september!

The sort of worrying I tend to do is fruitless. Oftentimes, no positive result follows from my constant worry. The results of worrying? Body stresses and discomforts, such as diarrhea. Solution? Focus on other matters, I can control. Can’t control the future or how people will decide about the future.

My husband, when asked, would probably claim that I worry way too much. About what? He would claim that I worry about too much. Hey! I’m looking into worriers anonymous, but I’m worried about locating such a group (hee, hee).