have a family

I would like to eventually get married and have children. I know these days women are supposed to want to have a career and do it all themselves, but I would love to only work part-time (or even stay at home) and raise 3-5 kids. I would love to be able to have dinner ready for my husband, and have time to keep a nice house. Call me old-fashioned I guess.

I’ve started dating someone recently who looks realllllllly good, wife-potential-wise. She has a young daughter, and it would be very easy to fall into the daddy/hubby role…

In the last year or so I’ve been ready to get married and start a family. I had everything – a loving boyfriend, a couple of Yorkies, the home of my dreams, and a stable career. Recently my boyfriend of 6 years told me that he’s decided that it is not his goal to have a family. I was crushed because we always planned for children in our life together. We decided to split up in order to allow time for each of us to lead fulfilling lives. Now I am losing my best friend… and I fear I’ll never find anyone who will connect with me like he has. Neither of us can afford to stay in our beautiful home without a partner to share the cost, so we have decided to sell it. Luckily I still will have my career and full-time custody of my dogs!

Now I am in the planning stages to move on with my life. Slowly we’re beginning to get our house ready to put on the market. Then we will split up our belongings and find new places to live. I am looking for a home that will give me access to at least a small yard for my dogs. I also need to find a new partner who has the same goal of having a family. I’m 30, and I’m terrified.

Losing someone so great really makes me want to work hard to make myself happy… and for the long run. I want someone to share my life with. Once I’m settled in a happy, healthy relationship, I’d like to get married and start a family. I don’t want a big family necessarily – just the opportunity to raise one child will fulfill my dream.

I’m trying to stay positive, but this is really a difficult time for me… the most difficult time I’ve ever had.

some day I will get married with the man I love.
And I’ll have many problematic, noisy, wonderfull kids!

I think this is something I will do in about 10 years time, as I really want to do so many other things first and would love to adopt. We watched some videos of child birth at med school recently, thats put me off having my own kids!! I loved working with the orphans in Grenada, and there are so many kids desperate for homes, plus I think my genes are probably a bit dodgy. Its more about providing a child with a happy and loving home than about being pregnant. Have to get my life more settled first though. But one day :)

It’s ticking…

I’ve wanted a baby since I was a teenager. I need to wait until I have more money to maybe seriously think about this again.

At the same time I believe that when it happens, it happens and the universe will provide & there will always be people to help me when I stumble at being a mother.

I’m excited!

I haven’t seen any of my close friends in 9 months!

Wow – I hope she buys the ticket today…It would be so amazing to see her. We’ve been really good friends for 9 years & we have some good timezzz shared from being ridiculously silly as first year students in college…

She hadn’t emailed me in almost two months.

I know she was having internet problems, but somehow I thought she had given up on our friendship.

Today I got a long email from her. She had no internet access for a while. she wrote to me saying how she had some of my past emails printed out because reading them energizes her and reminds her that she is loved.

I can’t believe I doubted this friendship.

I am blessed. Even though most of the people I care about live in far away countries & continents. Over time i will make important friends here in Canada. I must be patient & remember that I am still loved…

I tend to have these amazing connections with people. I have a friend who I have never met! One of my friends from New York City thought we would connect & get along so she sent her email ad to me last year. Since then we email & talk a lot. She lives in Connecticut, and we’ve never met in person, but she feels like a sister or a mother to me.

I am blessed.

i’m still trying to find myself…

maybe a few more years!