create a positive environment for my family.. when i actually start a family

my unhealthy relationships with the members of my family are hurting my relationships with other people that i care about. which is absolutely awful. and if i could dix my family relationships i would, but i just feel like the problems are way too old and deep and difficult to fix. so the only thing i can do now is try to open up my perspective, fix my relationships with the other people i care about, and never make my possible future children feel the way that i feel far too often.

i’m not going to write and complain about how horrid my family is, because i know that it could be quite a bit worse. however, i don’t feel that the environment in my family is very positive or encouraging. one thing that i’ve been noticing lately – not just in my family, but everywhere – is that while there is some reaction to negative reinforcement, there is an even stronger reaction to positive reinforcement. i understand that not all things can be treated with positive reinforcement, but when i start a family (in a whiiiile), i want my children to feel comfortable at home, and open up to their parents. i feel that i have a lot of unresolved issues with myself, and a lot of them come from the way i was raised. of course no kid is going to spill his/her guts about everything, but children should never, ever, be scared of their parents.