appreciate life

I find it hard to appreciate life when it seems so worthless and when I feel so miserable 24/7

Today, another year older, another year wiser so they say.
I want to gain a new appreciation of life. It’s kind of silly how it’s taken ‘ichi rittoru no nadima’ ‘a litre of tears’ to make me realise it. It’s a very emotionalally moving docu-drama documenting the struggle of 15 year old Aya Ikeuchi, who’s been diagnosed with spinocerebellar degeneration – a terrible disease where the cerebellum of the brain gradually deteriorates to the point where the victim cannot walk, speak, write, or eat. A cruel disease, as it does not affect the mind in the least. It’s an amazing serise, and the songs are amazing too. I think it’s fair to say, it makes everyone who watches cry. I say, watch this or you might miss your biggest ever life lesson.
Though, after watching it, I realised how much I blame everyone else for my mis-givings, and how I don’t appreciate what I have half as much as I should. So, today, I’ll begin my path to self appreciation. So many things I take for granted, that the serise puts into perspective. Being able to eat, drink, walk, talk. Many people really don’t apreciate how special these basic things are. If I had such a disease, I don’t think I would ever appreciate life or show such courage as Aya does.
I expect so much yet give so little, That’ll change too. Granted, it won’t happen over night, but it will happen in time. I actually look forward to it. Just being alive is a beatiful thing.
じゃ、 あした はじめろ

I’ve been better and better at this, the longer I’ve been on the road. I see that a lot of the things that come to me are not chance, but simply manifested by my love and appreciation for life. When hard times knock, I’ve gotten very good at sitting back, looking at what’s presented, and learning from it. Seeing the lessons in everything. I am not perfect, and don’t always succeed at seeing the best, but Once Upon A Time, I didn’t even know this was a possiblity. I’m very grateful for being turned on to it.

“However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do want society.”

Henry David Thoreau

... and the world, the more I realize how lucky I am to have what I have and be where I am. I really need to be more grateful.

Really, why go through life if I don’t take the time to appreciate it, and the adventures it brings? For the 4th holiday, I want to do some new things that I haven’t done before (or at least in many years). This may help me focus on appreciating life.

Today is my birthday! I absolutely am appreciative of everything I’ve been given and how fortunate I have been in my life :-)

i got hit by a car today. shocked and stunned, but doing fine. new outlook on life?

I’ve never been so content. (I guess excluding when I was younger and didn’t know any better haha). I’m just relaxing and living and breathing and seeing and experiencing. I can’t promise that I’ll always feel like this all the time, but right now I can vouch that it feels pretty damn good.

39. Being back in an art gallery and admiring the works of artists. Especially Yarek Godfrey’s work.

40. Being ever so grateful for everything that has happened while being at peace with what will happen.

28. An email from Tim stating that he’s alright. Well, just the email alone made my day.

29. Volcano (crabstick tempura with spicy mayo and spicy tuna) and shrimp tempura maki (and gyoza!) from Sato Japanese Cuisine for my twenty-second birthday!

30. The fantastic friends who attended the unbirthday on December 2nd and made it all worth it.

31. Everyone who called or wished me a Happy Birthday.

32. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. (And very naturally the person who sent the imps as a Christmas present).

33. Reflecting on the great times I had with Tim. (Which also had something to do with , which I’ll explain in an entry there).

34. Being able to point out where I want to head next in life. I may not be able to see the path clearly, but I have a better idea of what I want and what I do not want.

35. The despair of not being able to guide a close friend out of relationship woes. But remembering that I’m experiencing something similar and knowing that we both have one another to work through this and we’ve got our other friends. It’s a matter of support.

36. Oil painting for the first time.

37. Taking a break from working on a tiny perfume rack I’m putting together out of wood and scrapbooking to update my journal (or 43Things in this case).

38. Filing for graduation.